your path

millie shows me a path that drops suddenly down a very steep slope.  the part on the ground turns into a slide.  there is also a zip line that follows the path, that would put you on the same path where the slide ends.  both choices involve a leap of faith.  either you slide straight down a steep incline, not knowing where you will end up, or you attach yourself to a zip line and jump, not knowing where you will end up.


"the way you know *your* path from every other path is excitement, enthusiasm and ease.  it can be a leap of faith, it can be a little scary, but it is never an uphill battle.  it is never defeating or difficult.  it is always exhilarating."

I think of my experience in graduate school... what a huge uphill climb that was.  full of my own pictures of a successful life, full of 'shoulds.'


"your true path unfolds before you as you go.  it can be scary, but it does not involve effort.  it does not have to be hard to be worthwhile.  managing your fear is the hardest part.


you have a lot of wisdom.  give yourself permission to access it.  you are complete.  don't look outside yourself for answers.  don't give others more credit that you give yourself.  your personal power is unequalled.  it is all you need.  no one has more knowledge about *you* and *your path* than you.


if you are in the flow, you cannot *not* follow your path -- it is inevitable.  whatever path you take will turn into your path, there is no way to screw this up.


love you.  love is all you need."

again with the beatles music.  =)

thank you, millie.

edge of existence

millie shows me a small cottage on a cliff by the sea.  I am viewing it from a distance, it is attractive and very isolated.  the wind is blowing the clouds across the sky, huge waves are pounding the cliffside.


"humans feel very alone, an island unto yourselves.  from your perspective, inside your head, you have a tremendous amount of space around you, between you and others.  this is natural, it is part of the human condition."

she then shows me what looks like outlines of human forms all jiggling together in a giant bowl of jello.


"you exist as an island, and you also exist as a connected whole.  everyone is a part of the energy field, every thought, every tiny movement is felt by all.  both of these are true.  this is the dichotomy of life."

the picture zooms in on the intersection between one of the human forms and the jello.  she sends me a zingy, crackly feeling that is happening along the intersection between the personal bubble and everything else.  it feels like pop rocks candy in your mouth, little tiny explosions happening all over.


"this is the hot zone.  the place where 'I' meets 'we' is the edge of existence, this is where we feel alive, this intersection has the most opportunity for learning and growth.


focus on that intersection, that interaction.  fill the space with love.  love for yourself, love for others.  this will help you create your world full of love."

thank you, millie.

the inner you

millie shows me an artichoke.  it is not quite ripe, very green, with sharp, pointy leaves.  she shows it cooking in water and ending up soft and yummy in the middle.


"you are covered with scales and pointy protections, just like an artichoke.  the real you is the soft yummy center.  that is your heart-centered self.


you can split that outer layer of self-created shell and just walk away.  you can walk your path naked and heart-centered, giving others permission to do the same.  you can be your true self, all the time, with no hard edges.  you are all headed in that direction, follow your inner guidance, wherever that may lead you.  even if it seems to be leading you in circles, or over ground you have already covered, trust it.  follow it."

it would be nice if we could just get there already, I say with some impatience.

she shows me a speedboat, zooming over the water in a haphazard pattern.

"your pace is not your vibration.  increasing your pace will not increase your vibration.  zipping around like mad will not give you the answers you seek, it will just make you frantic.  it is difficult to get in touch with yourself and the world around you if you are frantic."

I don't know how to walk in the world without my covering, without my protection.  I don't know how to be that person.

"it can take an artichoke some time to be fully cooked."


she sends me the beatle's song 'all you need is love,' -- it is coming through on an old wooden radio, and I have to continually adjust the dial a little bit to get the song to come in strong and clear. 


"give yourself permission, give yourself time.  live in the moment.  enjoy your process.  you will know when you are ready."

does wanting it count for anything?

"absolutely."

thank you, millie.

personal power

"within you lives a warrior, a sage and a child.  these three parts of you need to be in balance in order for you to fully access your personal power.  the energy must flow equally to and from all three.


the warrior is your protector, your shield.  if too much energy goes to the warrior, you will be too adversarial, you will be cut off from your wisdom and your ability to learn new things.


the sage is your center of wisdom.  if too much energy goes to the sage, you will be disconnected from reality, living too much in an esoteric world of your own creation.  you will be living somewhere outside of yourself, and thus will find it very difficult to integrate.


the child is your learner, your center of discovery and play.  your child helps you be flexible and adapt to change.  if too much energy goes to the child you will relinquish personal authority and be too inclined to rely on what others say.  you will not have enough access to your personal wisdom and power."

millie shows me a warrior, sage and child sitting in a circle around a glowing blue orb.  the energy flow is visible, and is swirling around all three figures equally.


"ideally, the flow of energy is balanced, touching each equally, and each is contributing equally to the energy flow.  the more balanced the flow, the more connected you are to yourself and the more you feel your personal power.


the glowing blue orb in the center is where synergy happens, that is your true essence.


if too much energy is flowing to or from one or two of these aspects of yourself, you will become unbalanced and the energy gets heavy and tilts to one side, causing even more unbalance.


if you are feeling unbalanced, call a meeting.  have your warrior, your sage and your child sit down in a circle and focus on the swirling energy.  focus on getting it to swirl evenly and on getting the blue orb to glow and float, effortlessly.


practice drawing on all three aspects, have them speak as one.  they are you.  you are all.


if you are hesitant about how to say something, close your eyes for a moment and touch the orb, connect with your wisdom.


picture all of this occurring inside of you, not separate from you."

thank you, millie.

sunlight & shadow

I wanted to hear more about how to integrate my dark and my light --  how to accept all parts of me.

millie showed me a human figure walking in the sunlight.  when the human figure was turned away from its shadow, the shadow was huge and looming and threatening.  it was shaped like a monster.  when the human turned to face its shadow, the shadow instantly shrank to the size and shape of a mouse.  the figure picked up its mouse shadow and held it gently.


"you are already integrated.  the difficulty you cause yourself is by denying or hiding or rejecting your dark.  to judge yourself for having experienced the dark, the lower vibrations, is like judging yourself for having a shadow in the sunshine, it makes no sense at all.  your experience with the dark gives you contrast, it makes you fully who you are. it gives you depth.  treasure that.  treasure you.  and know that when you turn to face your shadow it is going to be much easier than you expect.


THERE. IS. NO. JUDGMENT. OUTSIDE. OF. YOUR. HEAD."

millie wants this to be clear.


"no independent tribunal.  no judgment day.  only you.  you and the vibration you hold and your preference about that."

so why do I feel I need to forgive myself for dabbling in the dark?


"because you still believe in judgment.  it is still a part of your psyche."

I understand what you are saying, intellectually.  but judgment has a very tight grip on me.  as do right and wrong, good and bad.


"just practice thinking outside that paradigm.  practice using ideas that are unfamiliar.  it will loosen judgment's grip if you step away from those beliefs occasionally."

so, my darker marshmallows are just squished in with my lighter ones, giving my experience its own particular color?

"exactly."

so what now?  besides trying out new ideas, I mean.


"you must love yourself.  all of you.  embrace the whole you, light and dark together.  vibrate at you.  love your vibration."

okay.  thank you, millie.

good & bad

I asked millie about right and wrong, bad and good.  I am having a hard time accepting that they do not exist.

"bad and good are judgments.  they are not based on what exists, but on what you are *taught* about what exists."

but abandoning all judgment is counter to our evolutionary path.  judgment is what kept us alive, judging whether that person or animal is dangerous was key to survival, still is, in many cases.

"this is a vocabulary exercise.  when you assess whether someone or something is dangerous to your survival, that is different from judging that someone or something to be bad.  these are two separate ideas, the dangerousness of a thing and it's relative 'badness.'  humans frequently take the shortcut and just lump the two together.  and the 'badness' of a thing is something you made up.  it doesn't exist.


there is no good or bad.  there is no right or wrong.  there is only dark and light.  and then there are your preferences about the two.  do not confuse your preference for a thing for its 'rightness.'  it is just a preference.


humans are really hung up on the whole right and wrong thing.  let it go.  let go of the judgment."

abandoning judgments of everyone, including ourselves, seems god-like.

"yes."

is that too much to expect from ourselves?

"no.  judgment is a habit, deeply ingrained through many lifetimes.  it was taught.  but you can let go of old habits and the fear that keeps you in them."

it's pretty simple, isn't it, what you are teaching?  vibrate at me, allow others to do the same, and live in love.

"yes."

the concept is simple, but implementation...

"is as hard as you make it for yourself."

ah.

are there others like you on the planet?

"yes."

are they all animals?


"not all.  but those who choose to come as animals are here to help you more directly as you learn to raise your vibration."

if there is no good or bad, why are we raising the vibration of the planet?

"to see if we can.  we have a preference.  this planet is of the light.  this planet is love.  it is time."

marshmallows

I asked millie yesterday how she knows all of this stuff.  she said she remembers it.  I asked her *how* she remembers it.  she sent me an image of marshmallows arranged in a spiral stair-step pattern, going down and also going up from where I was standing.  I couldn't make any sense out of that answer at first, then we were interrupted and I had to wait until the end of the day to resume our conversation.  finally, I asked her what the marshmallows represent.  she sent me a picture of pearls strung together.  I had a flash of understanding.  the pearls represent lifetimes.  then she took me back to the marshmallow image.

"each marshmallow is a distinct and complete lifetime, but they are all made of the same substance.  if you squish them all together, it makes one homogenous thing.  that thing is your experience as a spirit in body."

some of the marshmallows are darker, what does that mean?


"there is no wrong or right, there is only dark and light.  higher and lower vibrations.  we experiment with both.  you gravitate toward your preference, but you only know your preference because you have experienced both.  that is okay, that's how it works.


you must accept *all* of you, all of your experiences, the dark and the light.  then you will have more access to all of your knowledge.  your knowledge will be more accessible when you stop shutting out or denying the parts of you that are dark."

how many lifetimes did it take you to access all of your knowledge, once you accepted yourself?


"three."

how many will it take me?


"the planet is holding a higher vibration now -- it can be done immediately -- it is possible to do it now.  give yourself permission to accept all that you are."

millie, do you know everything?

"I know everything that I have learned, in all of my lifetimes."

that's a lot.

"yes."

do you like being a cat?

"yes, I chose this."

why?


"there are fewer humans than other animals.  being human offers the best opportunity for growth and change.  I do not need that level of growth and change, so I left it for someone who needs it more."

so you are fine-tuning?

"yes."

wow.

thank you, millie.  as always, I am in awe of you.