brain storm

some days I hear millie perfectly and it is easy and fluid.  some days it takes me forever to catch even a little piece of her story, what she is telling me.  those days are frustrating.  today was one of those days.  finally, my brain shut up enough that I could see the picture she was sending me, of a thunderstorm moving through, complete with dark clouds and lightning and thunder, with lots of tension in the air.


"once the storm moves through and the atmosphere clears, everything is calmer and you can hear better."

so I have thunderstorms in my brain?


"electrical storms, yes."

how do I calm them down?


"you know how.  find your center.  ground.  sit in silence and intend to quiet yourself.  use your tools."

why do they happen?


"it is normal.  maybe from habit, from the way you prepare yourself to face the world or respond to certain situations."

she shows me a train running on a track.


"your habits, your ways of thinking and being, are deeply ingrained.  like a train on a track, it is difficult for you to travel anywhere except on the tracks you have built for yourself."

so how do I change my thinking?  I start to picture building new tracks, but she interrupts that thought and shows me a scene with no tracks at all.


"you don't need your tracks.  you can decide in each moment what to think, how to act.  you don't need old programming telling you what to do.  try moving through your life with no tracks -- see how that goes."

wow.  okay, I'll try.

thank you, millie.