the myth of control

millie shows me two scenes simultaneously.  in both scenes, a woman is walking through a field of head high wheat.  it is impossible for them to see where they are going.  the first person is enjoying the walk, noticing the color of the sky, the feel of the wheat brushing her skin, the smell of the earth, the hum of the insects.  the first person is connected to the world around her.  she is curious, but not afraid.

the second person is anxious, always trying to see what is up ahead, not taking the time to enjoy the walk, the sunshine, the experience.  she is not connected to the world around her, she is barely connected to herself.  all of her focus and energy is being thrown out in front of her to try and achieve the impossible-- to see what is coming before it gets here.

because the second person is so hyper alert, she catches a glimpse of a tiger ahead in the distance.  she instantly goes into fear overdrive, into emotional red alert.  she is sure the tiger will eat her at any moment, so she redoubles her efforts to see what is coming, to foretell her future.  the more she tries to see the path ahead but cannot, the more afraid and anxious and disconnected she becomes.

suddenly, they walk into a clearing, where there is a circus -- complete with circus animals.  the first person is delighted and relaxed and enjoys this bit of serendipity with all of her focus.  the second person nearly collapses from exhaustion and relief that the tiger cannot eat her, she cannot focus herself enough to enjoy the show, and she immediately starts to worry about the next invisible 'threat' down the road.


"these scenes are of the same person, making two different choices.  you can choose to live in the moment, enjoying what comes your way, or you can choose to be tense and anxious and fearful.  it is completely up to you.


there is absolutely no sense in worrying about anything.  you. can't. possibly. know. what to worry about."

this story, and millie's comment make me think of something I heard on the news the other night.  a woman was crushed by a rock falling on the car she was in.  her friend was driving her to work, and was unscathed.  the news story reported that the woman who was crushed had stopped driving herself anywhere because she was afraid something would happen to her.  turns out, if she had driven herself, she would not have been crushed by that rock.


"trying to climb up for a better view, stretching yourself tighter and tighter in order to attempt to control the future is a waste of energy.  it is also exhausting.  for you and probably for those around you.


relax into your space, luxuriate in your life -- that is how you are meant to live.  identify that feeling -- your particular feeling of you trying to be in control -- know it so you recognize it when it comes, so you can avoid it and remind yourself to relax and enjoy the flow.


let go and experience life.  it's all any of us can really do.  our ability to direct our lives is internal, not external.  we can create our world, we can remember why we came.  we can remember how to live in love."


thank you, millie.

your inner child

millie shows me two kids in a sailboat.  it feels free and fun and light and happy.  as I watch, my adult brain says danger.  there are no grownups with those kids, no one to protect them.  the boat is small and the wind is brisk and the sea is large, those kids aren't safe.

"kids have the right sense of adventure for life.  you can *do* anything, *be* anything you want.  there are no limits.  and it is fun, kids understand fun.  they don't worry about the danger, the 'what ifs', the safety factor, it doesn't cross their minds.


remember when 'what would happen if....?' was not a scary question, but one fraught with possibility?  treat life as the game it is.  let go of the responsibility for making everything work out.  you can't.  life just is.


find that kid inside of you.  seek her out if she is hiding.  lure him out with crayons and finger paint.  reconnect.  remember.  the child inside you has a great deal of wisdom about how to move through the world.  ask your inner child for advice.  listen to the answers."

walls

millie shows me a human figure with their nose right up against a very tall brick wall that seems to go on forever to each side.


"you create your walls.  you make them big and strong because you believe in them.  they look big and solid up close, but they are energetic walls, not physical ones."

the view changes, as the human begins to float a little, the wall becomes smaller and more transparent.  the human floats above the wall and looks down on a maze of similar wall segments.


"the more you flow, the smaller the walls get.  you can make them disappear completely.  don't believe in them.  live your life in joy, moment to moment.  the walls will dissolve.


stop worrying about the future.  call your energy back to the present moment -- how do you feel right now?  focus on what makes you feel good.  each moment is infinite and full of possibility.


staying in the moment helps with the flow, helps you stay out of fear, helps  you connect with joy."

now she shows me a cobblestone street.  directly around me, inside my personal space, the stones are precious gems.


"only by staying in the moment will you see the gems, the gifts your life has for you.  slow down.  look around.  don't just notice it, let it in.  remove your focus from your busy life, your worries.  be present in the moment and feel your gifts.  treasure them."

I stopped getting new information, but millie didn't leave my lap like she usually does when I've 'got it.'  so I asked, am I missing a key piece?

"you're not *doing* it."

ah.  true, I was not.  thinking about living in the moment is not the same thing as actually doing it.  I managed a few seconds of truly living in the moment, and then I had to go home and feed the dogs.  give it a try, it's as hard as you make it for yourself, to quote a furry friend of mine.

symphony of love

there was more to millie's message yesterday than I was able to express.  I asked her to explain it a different way today to see if I could expand on it.  she showed me crystals in a honeycomb arrangement, nearly touching but not quite, and with an undefinable substance flowing between them.


"the crystals are individual humans.  the substance flowing between the crystals is the love field, the life force, the "stuff" that we all exist in that connects us all.


crystals are a good example because they can hold a vibration.  so can you.  if you vibrate singly, it can be beautiful but disorganized when looked at as a whole.  if everyone is vibrating on their own frequency, some vibrations will cancel others out and the overall effect is a little noisy.


if you vibrate together, it is a symphony."

in the past you have told us to vibrate at our own particular vibration, to vibrate at 'me.'


"yes.  in that context I said it is better not to try to lower your vibration to match that of others.  now I am suggesting that you direct your own *individual* vibration toward a common goal.  like an orchestra...  right now humans sound like an orchestra that is tuning up, not yet playing together.  it is noisy and chaotic.  each individual instrument makes a beautiful sound, but together all you are producing is noise.


I am suggesting that you begin to participate in the symphony as a group."

how do we do that?


"intend it.  vibrate at love.  let it flow through and around you, filling the space between you and the next.  as more of you vibrate at love, in harmony, it will become easier for the rest."

thank you, millie.

who am I?

"every being, in or out of body, is the perfect expression of itself.  you are the answer to the question that only you being you can answer.  you are the solution to the puzzle of you.  you are the key to the lock that only your key can open.  only you can fit perfectly into your place in the everything."

millie shows me fish swimming.


"fish move through their world with ease, as perfect fish.  water is life-force, part of the everything that we all move through, it's just easier to see as water.  where the water touches the fish, the place where the water and the fish meet, is an intersection.  


where you intersect with all of creation -- physically, mentally, energetically -- that space is magical.  bring your focus to that space, not totally inward, not totally outside of yourself, but where you meet with everything else.  that is a sacred place.  a place of infinite possibility.  all of the answers to the question that is you, happen in that space.  feel the oneness that we are all a part of, then feel the tiny speck that you are in the everythingness."

a human teacher of mine calls this space that you are talking about the 'crossroads.'


"it goes by many names.  recognize it by its electric feeling, by the way you can be all at once an atom and the entire universe, shrinking and expanding at the same time.  that feeling means you have found the space."

what do we do when we find it?


"just be.  feel the love that you are, that is everything.  connect."

thank you, millie.

perspective shift

I ask, what's the topic today, millie?

picture a beautiful scene, like the dawn of the morning after a huge storm, the seas are still rough and dark and the sky is beginning to lighten.  the clouds are a deep purple against rosy-peach sky.  then the scene starts to shrink, like it is moving away or you are moving backwards.  as it shrinks, the edge of the scene appears and it has a border, like a thin frame.  the storm-aftermath scene grows smaller and smaller until it is no longer visible in the distance.

as it shrinks, your awareness of your surroundings grows.  you are sitting on a beautiful white sand beach, with crystal blue gently waving water and warm sunshine.  a gentle breeze tickles your face.


"the storms you experience are a matter of your perspective.  you choose to stay in the frame and engage with the storm, or you choose to move beyond the frame and the storm becomes a tiny speck in the everythingness around you.


frames are made up of beliefs and fears that keep you thinking a certain way.  you need to release your fears or reexamine your beliefs in order to step through the frame, to step out of the picture you are stuck in.


examine your fears and closely held beliefs.  are they keeping you in a frame?  there are many different frames in your life.  are there any you are ready to let go of?"


thank you, millie.

thought energy

millie shows me a clumsy caveman type tool, it looks like a rock tied to a stick.  then she shifts the scene to a beautiful painting.  the art is alive, three dimensional, moving.  the artists are humans with faeries flitting about and other luminous beings.

"humans have evolved in their ability to create their world.  at first there was a lot of violence inherent in the process, violence done to you and violence done by you.  your tools have evolved as your awareness and understanding has changed.  you have moved from stone hammers to paint brushes.  from knives to pens.  from physical violence to verbal and mental violence, and beyond.


you continue to evolve, and the next step is to increase your awareness of the energy of your thoughts.  thoughts *are* energy.  they count.


you tend to automatically follow the dark threads in your thoughts, you focus on them out of habit.  increase your awareness of light and shadow.  be aware when you start to follow dark thought-threads.  you can stop yourself.  the more you practice, the more aware you become, the more quickly you can stop yourself from following a dark thread.


look for light threads.  follow those instead.  focus on what makes you happy.  think about what makes you feel good.  where your thoughts are focused, that is what will increase in your life.  you will attract more of what you pay attention to.  


look for the light, it will come."

thank you, millie