the myth of control

millie shows me two scenes simultaneously.  in both scenes, a woman is walking through a field of head high wheat.  it is impossible for them to see where they are going.  the first person is enjoying the walk, noticing the color of the sky, the feel of the wheat brushing her skin, the smell of the earth, the hum of the insects.  the first person is connected to the world around her.  she is curious, but not afraid.

the second person is anxious, always trying to see what is up ahead, not taking the time to enjoy the walk, the sunshine, the experience.  she is not connected to the world around her, she is barely connected to herself.  all of her focus and energy is being thrown out in front of her to try and achieve the impossible-- to see what is coming before it gets here.

because the second person is so hyper alert, she catches a glimpse of a tiger ahead in the distance.  she instantly goes into fear overdrive, into emotional red alert.  she is sure the tiger will eat her at any moment, so she redoubles her efforts to see what is coming, to foretell her future.  the more she tries to see the path ahead but cannot, the more afraid and anxious and disconnected she becomes.

suddenly, they walk into a clearing, where there is a circus -- complete with circus animals.  the first person is delighted and relaxed and enjoys this bit of serendipity with all of her focus.  the second person nearly collapses from exhaustion and relief that the tiger cannot eat her, she cannot focus herself enough to enjoy the show, and she immediately starts to worry about the next invisible 'threat' down the road.


"these scenes are of the same person, making two different choices.  you can choose to live in the moment, enjoying what comes your way, or you can choose to be tense and anxious and fearful.  it is completely up to you.


there is absolutely no sense in worrying about anything.  you. can't. possibly. know. what to worry about."

this story, and millie's comment make me think of something I heard on the news the other night.  a woman was crushed by a rock falling on the car she was in.  her friend was driving her to work, and was unscathed.  the news story reported that the woman who was crushed had stopped driving herself anywhere because she was afraid something would happen to her.  turns out, if she had driven herself, she would not have been crushed by that rock.


"trying to climb up for a better view, stretching yourself tighter and tighter in order to attempt to control the future is a waste of energy.  it is also exhausting.  for you and probably for those around you.


relax into your space, luxuriate in your life -- that is how you are meant to live.  identify that feeling -- your particular feeling of you trying to be in control -- know it so you recognize it when it comes, so you can avoid it and remind yourself to relax and enjoy the flow.


let go and experience life.  it's all any of us can really do.  our ability to direct our lives is internal, not external.  we can create our world, we can remember why we came.  we can remember how to live in love."


thank you, millie.