millie shows me an artichoke. it is not quite ripe, very green, with sharp, pointy leaves. she shows it cooking in water and ending up soft and yummy in the middle.
"you are covered with scales and pointy protections, just like an artichoke. the real you is the soft yummy center. that is your heart-centered self.
you can split that outer layer of self-created shell and just walk away. you can walk your path naked and heart-centered, giving others permission to do the same. you can be your true self, all the time, with no hard edges. you are all headed in that direction, follow your inner guidance, wherever that may lead you. even if it seems to be leading you in circles, or over ground you have already covered, trust it. follow it."
it would be nice if we could just get there already, I say with some impatience.
she shows me a speedboat, zooming over the water in a haphazard pattern.
"your pace is not your vibration. increasing your pace will not increase your vibration. zipping around like mad will not give you the answers you seek, it will just make you frantic. it is difficult to get in touch with yourself and the world around you if you are frantic."
I don't know how to walk in the world without my covering, without my protection. I don't know how to be that person.
"it can take an artichoke some time to be fully cooked."
she sends me the beatle's song 'all you need is love,' -- it is coming through on an old wooden radio, and I have to continually adjust the dial a little bit to get the song to come in strong and clear.
"give yourself permission, give yourself time. live in the moment. enjoy your process. you will know when you are ready."
does wanting it count for anything?
"absolutely."
thank you, millie.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
personal power
"within you lives a warrior, a sage and a child. these three parts of you need to be in balance in order for you to fully access your personal power. the energy must flow equally to and from all three.
the warrior is your protector, your shield. if too much energy goes to the warrior, you will be too adversarial, you will be cut off from your wisdom and your ability to learn new things.
the sage is your center of wisdom. if too much energy goes to the sage, you will be disconnected from reality, living too much in an esoteric world of your own creation. you will be living somewhere outside of yourself, and thus will find it very difficult to integrate.
the child is your learner, your center of discovery and play. your child helps you be flexible and adapt to change. if too much energy goes to the child you will relinquish personal authority and be too inclined to rely on what others say. you will not have enough access to your personal wisdom and power."
millie shows me a warrior, sage and child sitting in a circle around a glowing blue orb. the energy flow is visible, and is swirling around all three figures equally.
"ideally, the flow of energy is balanced, touching each equally, and each is contributing equally to the energy flow. the more balanced the flow, the more connected you are to yourself and the more you feel your personal power.
the glowing blue orb in the center is where synergy happens, that is your true essence.
if too much energy is flowing to or from one or two of these aspects of yourself, you will become unbalanced and the energy gets heavy and tilts to one side, causing even more unbalance.
if you are feeling unbalanced, call a meeting. have your warrior, your sage and your child sit down in a circle and focus on the swirling energy. focus on getting it to swirl evenly and on getting the blue orb to glow and float, effortlessly.
practice drawing on all three aspects, have them speak as one. they are you. you are all.
if you are hesitant about how to say something, close your eyes for a moment and touch the orb, connect with your wisdom.
picture all of this occurring inside of you, not separate from you."
thank you, millie.
the warrior is your protector, your shield. if too much energy goes to the warrior, you will be too adversarial, you will be cut off from your wisdom and your ability to learn new things.
the sage is your center of wisdom. if too much energy goes to the sage, you will be disconnected from reality, living too much in an esoteric world of your own creation. you will be living somewhere outside of yourself, and thus will find it very difficult to integrate.
the child is your learner, your center of discovery and play. your child helps you be flexible and adapt to change. if too much energy goes to the child you will relinquish personal authority and be too inclined to rely on what others say. you will not have enough access to your personal wisdom and power."
millie shows me a warrior, sage and child sitting in a circle around a glowing blue orb. the energy flow is visible, and is swirling around all three figures equally.
"ideally, the flow of energy is balanced, touching each equally, and each is contributing equally to the energy flow. the more balanced the flow, the more connected you are to yourself and the more you feel your personal power.
the glowing blue orb in the center is where synergy happens, that is your true essence.
if too much energy is flowing to or from one or two of these aspects of yourself, you will become unbalanced and the energy gets heavy and tilts to one side, causing even more unbalance.
if you are feeling unbalanced, call a meeting. have your warrior, your sage and your child sit down in a circle and focus on the swirling energy. focus on getting it to swirl evenly and on getting the blue orb to glow and float, effortlessly.
practice drawing on all three aspects, have them speak as one. they are you. you are all.
if you are hesitant about how to say something, close your eyes for a moment and touch the orb, connect with your wisdom.
picture all of this occurring inside of you, not separate from you."
thank you, millie.
Monday, March 1, 2010
sunlight & shadow
I wanted to hear more about how to integrate my dark and my light -- how to accept all parts of me.
millie showed me a human figure walking in the sunlight. when the human figure was turned away from its shadow, the shadow was huge and looming and threatening. it was shaped like a monster. when the human turned to face its shadow, the shadow instantly shrank to the size and shape of a mouse. the figure picked up its mouse shadow and held it gently.
"you are already integrated. the difficulty you cause yourself is by denying or hiding or rejecting your dark. to judge yourself for having experienced the dark, the lower vibrations, is like judging yourself for having a shadow in the sunshine, it makes no sense at all. your experience with the dark gives you contrast, it makes you fully who you are. it gives you depth. treasure that. treasure you. and know that when you turn to face your shadow it is going to be much easier than you expect.
THERE. IS. NO. JUDGMENT. OUTSIDE. OF. YOUR. HEAD."
millie wants this to be clear.
"no independent tribunal. no judgment day. only you. you and the vibration you hold and your preference about that."
so why do I feel I need to forgive myself for dabbling in the dark?
"because you still believe in judgment. it is still a part of your psyche."
I understand what you are saying, intellectually. but judgment has a very tight grip on me. as do right and wrong, good and bad.
"just practice thinking outside that paradigm. practice using ideas that are unfamiliar. it will loosen judgment's grip if you step away from those beliefs occasionally."
so, my darker marshmallows are just squished in with my lighter ones, giving my experience its own particular color?
"exactly."
so what now? besides trying out new ideas, I mean.
"you must love yourself. all of you. embrace the whole you, light and dark together. vibrate at you. love your vibration."
okay. thank you, millie.
millie showed me a human figure walking in the sunlight. when the human figure was turned away from its shadow, the shadow was huge and looming and threatening. it was shaped like a monster. when the human turned to face its shadow, the shadow instantly shrank to the size and shape of a mouse. the figure picked up its mouse shadow and held it gently.
"you are already integrated. the difficulty you cause yourself is by denying or hiding or rejecting your dark. to judge yourself for having experienced the dark, the lower vibrations, is like judging yourself for having a shadow in the sunshine, it makes no sense at all. your experience with the dark gives you contrast, it makes you fully who you are. it gives you depth. treasure that. treasure you. and know that when you turn to face your shadow it is going to be much easier than you expect.
THERE. IS. NO. JUDGMENT. OUTSIDE. OF. YOUR. HEAD."
millie wants this to be clear.
"no independent tribunal. no judgment day. only you. you and the vibration you hold and your preference about that."
so why do I feel I need to forgive myself for dabbling in the dark?
"because you still believe in judgment. it is still a part of your psyche."
I understand what you are saying, intellectually. but judgment has a very tight grip on me. as do right and wrong, good and bad.
"just practice thinking outside that paradigm. practice using ideas that are unfamiliar. it will loosen judgment's grip if you step away from those beliefs occasionally."
so, my darker marshmallows are just squished in with my lighter ones, giving my experience its own particular color?
"exactly."
so what now? besides trying out new ideas, I mean.
"you must love yourself. all of you. embrace the whole you, light and dark together. vibrate at you. love your vibration."
okay. thank you, millie.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
good & bad
I asked millie about right and wrong, bad and good. I am having a hard time accepting that they do not exist.
"bad and good are judgments. they are not based on what exists, but on what you are *taught* about what exists."
but abandoning all judgment is counter to our evolutionary path. judgment is what kept us alive, judging whether that person or animal is dangerous was key to survival, still is, in many cases.
"this is a vocabulary exercise. when you assess whether someone or something is dangerous to your survival, that is different from judging that someone or something to be bad. these are two separate ideas, the dangerousness of a thing and it's relative 'badness.' humans frequently take the shortcut and just lump the two together. and the 'badness' of a thing is something you made up. it doesn't exist.
there is no good or bad. there is no right or wrong. there is only dark and light. and then there are your preferences about the two. do not confuse your preference for a thing for its 'rightness.' it is just a preference.
humans are really hung up on the whole right and wrong thing. let it go. let go of the judgment."
abandoning judgments of everyone, including ourselves, seems god-like.
"yes."
is that too much to expect from ourselves?
"no. judgment is a habit, deeply ingrained through many lifetimes. it was taught. but you can let go of old habits and the fear that keeps you in them."
it's pretty simple, isn't it, what you are teaching? vibrate at me, allow others to do the same, and live in love.
"yes."
the concept is simple, but implementation...
"is as hard as you make it for yourself."
ah.
are there others like you on the planet?
"yes."
are they all animals?
"not all. but those who choose to come as animals are here to help you more directly as you learn to raise your vibration."
if there is no good or bad, why are we raising the vibration of the planet?
"to see if we can. we have a preference. this planet is of the light. this planet is love. it is time."
"bad and good are judgments. they are not based on what exists, but on what you are *taught* about what exists."
but abandoning all judgment is counter to our evolutionary path. judgment is what kept us alive, judging whether that person or animal is dangerous was key to survival, still is, in many cases.
"this is a vocabulary exercise. when you assess whether someone or something is dangerous to your survival, that is different from judging that someone or something to be bad. these are two separate ideas, the dangerousness of a thing and it's relative 'badness.' humans frequently take the shortcut and just lump the two together. and the 'badness' of a thing is something you made up. it doesn't exist.
there is no good or bad. there is no right or wrong. there is only dark and light. and then there are your preferences about the two. do not confuse your preference for a thing for its 'rightness.' it is just a preference.
humans are really hung up on the whole right and wrong thing. let it go. let go of the judgment."
abandoning judgments of everyone, including ourselves, seems god-like.
"yes."
is that too much to expect from ourselves?
"no. judgment is a habit, deeply ingrained through many lifetimes. it was taught. but you can let go of old habits and the fear that keeps you in them."
it's pretty simple, isn't it, what you are teaching? vibrate at me, allow others to do the same, and live in love.
"yes."
the concept is simple, but implementation...
"is as hard as you make it for yourself."
ah.
are there others like you on the planet?
"yes."
are they all animals?
"not all. but those who choose to come as animals are here to help you more directly as you learn to raise your vibration."
if there is no good or bad, why are we raising the vibration of the planet?
"to see if we can. we have a preference. this planet is of the light. this planet is love. it is time."
Friday, February 26, 2010
marshmallows
I asked millie yesterday how she knows all of this stuff. she said she remembers it. I asked her *how* she remembers it. she sent me an image of marshmallows arranged in a spiral stair-step pattern, going down and also going up from where I was standing. I couldn't make any sense out of that answer at first, then we were interrupted and I had to wait until the end of the day to resume our conversation. finally, I asked her what the marshmallows represent. she sent me a picture of pearls strung together. I had a flash of understanding. the pearls represent lifetimes. then she took me back to the marshmallow image.
"each marshmallow is a distinct and complete lifetime, but they are all made of the same substance. if you squish them all together, it makes one homogenous thing. that thing is your experience as a spirit in body."
some of the marshmallows are darker, what does that mean?
"there is no wrong or right, there is only dark and light. higher and lower vibrations. we experiment with both. you gravitate toward your preference, but you only know your preference because you have experienced both. that is okay, that's how it works.
you must accept *all* of you, all of your experiences, the dark and the light. then you will have more access to all of your knowledge. your knowledge will be more accessible when you stop shutting out or denying the parts of you that are dark."
how many lifetimes did it take you to access all of your knowledge, once you accepted yourself?
"three."
how many will it take me?
"the planet is holding a higher vibration now -- it can be done immediately -- it is possible to do it now. give yourself permission to accept all that you are."
millie, do you know everything?
"I know everything that I have learned, in all of my lifetimes."
that's a lot.
"yes."
do you like being a cat?
"yes, I chose this."
why?
"there are fewer humans than other animals. being human offers the best opportunity for growth and change. I do not need that level of growth and change, so I left it for someone who needs it more."
so you are fine-tuning?
"yes."
wow.
thank you, millie. as always, I am in awe of you.
"each marshmallow is a distinct and complete lifetime, but they are all made of the same substance. if you squish them all together, it makes one homogenous thing. that thing is your experience as a spirit in body."
some of the marshmallows are darker, what does that mean?
"there is no wrong or right, there is only dark and light. higher and lower vibrations. we experiment with both. you gravitate toward your preference, but you only know your preference because you have experienced both. that is okay, that's how it works.
you must accept *all* of you, all of your experiences, the dark and the light. then you will have more access to all of your knowledge. your knowledge will be more accessible when you stop shutting out or denying the parts of you that are dark."
how many lifetimes did it take you to access all of your knowledge, once you accepted yourself?
"three."
how many will it take me?
"the planet is holding a higher vibration now -- it can be done immediately -- it is possible to do it now. give yourself permission to accept all that you are."
millie, do you know everything?
"I know everything that I have learned, in all of my lifetimes."
that's a lot.
"yes."
do you like being a cat?
"yes, I chose this."
why?
"there are fewer humans than other animals. being human offers the best opportunity for growth and change. I do not need that level of growth and change, so I left it for someone who needs it more."
so you are fine-tuning?
"yes."
wow.
thank you, millie. as always, I am in awe of you.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
communication
millie shows me a waterfall pouring over a many-layered step-like rocky outcropping. the steps, or layers, are not perfectly even like a stairway, but are more random in their spacing and their shapes.
"ease or difficulty in communication partly depends on how many layers, or levels, lie between you and the one you are communicating with. the number of levels that lie between you depends on many things, and can be different for different topics. humans are multi-layered, and you communicate on one level about some things and a completely different level about others.
communication is a type of flow -- that's what the water represents. in order for it to flow, you must let go of any attachment to the outcome, or the impact of your communication."
wait a minute, I thought some of the main purposes of communication were to have a certain impact, to convey certain information, to get someone to do what you want them to do? what about to be understood?
"it works much better if you do not expect. think of it like writing a book or a song. you put your intention into the words and then you release them to the world. it is not your choice how people read your book or hear your song. that choice is up to the reader and the listener.
it would seem silly for an author to demand that you respond to their words a certain way -- to assign them only one meaning, the meaning she assigned them. how you interpret written words is up to you, the audience, the receiver.
it is no different for spoken words. craft them carefully so that they hold your true intention. be honest with yourself about what your true intention is. then release them. your responsibility for the words ends when you release them. you are responsible for their creation and the energy you charge them with, but you cannot possibly know or dictate how they will be received.
if your words are an accurate representation of your true intention, they carry that energy with them. if someone misinterprets your words, or is not able to understand them, it could be that you are communicating across too many levels -- but that is not a problem with the words or the energy, it is a problem with the distance between the sender and the receiver for that topic. you can try again with different words, as long as they still truly and accurately describe your intention. sometimes that will work, sometimes not."
it seems to be a key issue whether your words are true and accurate and honest.
"yes."
what about white lies?
"some white lies are positive words covering up negative feelings. the words do not really cover the feelings. both the sender and the receiver know, on some level, that the feelings are negative. better to be silent in that situation."
what about a situation where the truth could really hurt (a friend asks if they look fat, for example, and they do)?
"in that situation, positive words are conveying positive feelings -- that you love your friend and don't want to hurt them. they aren't the exact truth, but your words and the underlying feelings match in a less exact way."
this seems to be a fairly strict standard of honesty.
"it is not possible to lie to another. on some level, they read the energy behind the words and the energy never lies."
wow. okay.
thank you, millie.
"ease or difficulty in communication partly depends on how many layers, or levels, lie between you and the one you are communicating with. the number of levels that lie between you depends on many things, and can be different for different topics. humans are multi-layered, and you communicate on one level about some things and a completely different level about others.
communication is a type of flow -- that's what the water represents. in order for it to flow, you must let go of any attachment to the outcome, or the impact of your communication."
wait a minute, I thought some of the main purposes of communication were to have a certain impact, to convey certain information, to get someone to do what you want them to do? what about to be understood?
"it works much better if you do not expect. think of it like writing a book or a song. you put your intention into the words and then you release them to the world. it is not your choice how people read your book or hear your song. that choice is up to the reader and the listener.
it would seem silly for an author to demand that you respond to their words a certain way -- to assign them only one meaning, the meaning she assigned them. how you interpret written words is up to you, the audience, the receiver.
it is no different for spoken words. craft them carefully so that they hold your true intention. be honest with yourself about what your true intention is. then release them. your responsibility for the words ends when you release them. you are responsible for their creation and the energy you charge them with, but you cannot possibly know or dictate how they will be received.
if your words are an accurate representation of your true intention, they carry that energy with them. if someone misinterprets your words, or is not able to understand them, it could be that you are communicating across too many levels -- but that is not a problem with the words or the energy, it is a problem with the distance between the sender and the receiver for that topic. you can try again with different words, as long as they still truly and accurately describe your intention. sometimes that will work, sometimes not."
it seems to be a key issue whether your words are true and accurate and honest.
"yes."
what about white lies?
"some white lies are positive words covering up negative feelings. the words do not really cover the feelings. both the sender and the receiver know, on some level, that the feelings are negative. better to be silent in that situation."
what about a situation where the truth could really hurt (a friend asks if they look fat, for example, and they do)?
"in that situation, positive words are conveying positive feelings -- that you love your friend and don't want to hurt them. they aren't the exact truth, but your words and the underlying feelings match in a less exact way."
this seems to be a fairly strict standard of honesty.
"it is not possible to lie to another. on some level, they read the energy behind the words and the energy never lies."
wow. okay.
thank you, millie.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
clear your space
I came to the office in a funk today. nothing specific, just down and discouraged. I was already wondering how to shake myself out of it.
millie showed me a human holding an umbrella in a soft rain. there was a definite distinction between the atmosphere under the umbrella and the atmosphere outside of it.
"you are responsible for your space, for keeping it clear. your space is approximately the size of the clearing under an umbrella.
to clear your space, give your own true vibration a color. vibrate at that color for a moment, and then lighten it at least one shade. bring your vibration up a notch. think about vibrating at the new shade. intend that you continue to vibrate at the lighter shade. it doesn't require any effort, just intend.
use your tools. check to make sure you are grounded. visualize the heavy energy leaving your space. move it out with intention, without effort. and it always helps to have a cat on your lap to pet. we raise your vibration."
of course it worked. I am feeling much better now. I started with gray gloomy pictures of me under a black umbrella in a steady downpour on a cloudy day. I ended up with a spring shower, the kind where the sun is shining through the rain, standing on bright spring green grass with little baby ducklings waddling around. it was quite a shift.
and yes, millie was on my lap. =)
thank you, millie.
millie showed me a human holding an umbrella in a soft rain. there was a definite distinction between the atmosphere under the umbrella and the atmosphere outside of it.
"you are responsible for your space, for keeping it clear. your space is approximately the size of the clearing under an umbrella.
to clear your space, give your own true vibration a color. vibrate at that color for a moment, and then lighten it at least one shade. bring your vibration up a notch. think about vibrating at the new shade. intend that you continue to vibrate at the lighter shade. it doesn't require any effort, just intend.
use your tools. check to make sure you are grounded. visualize the heavy energy leaving your space. move it out with intention, without effort. and it always helps to have a cat on your lap to pet. we raise your vibration."
of course it worked. I am feeling much better now. I started with gray gloomy pictures of me under a black umbrella in a steady downpour on a cloudy day. I ended up with a spring shower, the kind where the sun is shining through the rain, standing on bright spring green grass with little baby ducklings waddling around. it was quite a shift.
and yes, millie was on my lap. =)
thank you, millie.
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