communication

millie shows me a waterfall pouring over a many-layered step-like rocky outcropping.  the steps, or layers, are not perfectly even like a stairway, but are more random in their spacing and their shapes.


"ease or difficulty in communication partly depends on how many layers, or levels, lie between you and the one you are communicating with.  the number of levels that lie between you depends on many things, and can be different for different topics.  humans are multi-layered, and you communicate on one level about  some things and a completely different level about others.


communication is a type of flow -- that's what the water represents.  in order for it to flow, you must let go of any attachment to the outcome, or the impact of your communication."

wait a minute, I thought some of the main purposes of communication were to have a certain impact, to convey certain information, to get someone to do what you want them to do?  what about to be understood?


"it works much better if you do not expect.  think of it like writing a book or a song.  you put your intention into the words and then you release them to the world.  it is not your choice how people read your book or hear your song.  that choice is up to the reader and the listener.


it would seem silly for an author to demand that you respond to their words a certain way -- to assign them only one meaning, the meaning she assigned them.  how you interpret written words is up to you, the audience, the receiver.


it is no different for spoken words.  craft them carefully so that they hold your true intention.  be honest with yourself about what your true intention is.  then release them.  your responsibility for the words ends when you release them.  you are responsible for their creation and the energy you charge them with, but you cannot possibly know or dictate how they will be received.


if your words are an accurate representation of your true intention, they carry that energy with them.  if someone misinterprets your words, or is not able to understand them, it could be that you are communicating across too many levels -- but that is not a problem with the words or the energy, it is a problem with the distance between the sender and the receiver for that topic.  you can try again with different words, as long as they still truly and accurately describe your intention.  sometimes that will work, sometimes not."

it seems to be a key issue whether your words are true and accurate and honest.

"yes."

what about white lies?

"some white lies are positive words covering up negative feelings.  the words do not really cover the feelings.  both the sender and the receiver know, on some level, that the feelings are negative.  better to be silent in that situation."

what about a situation where the truth could really hurt (a friend asks if they look fat, for example, and they do)?

"in that situation, positive words are conveying positive feelings -- that you love your friend and don't want to hurt them.  they aren't the exact truth, but your words and the underlying feelings match in a less exact way."


this seems to be a fairly strict standard of honesty.


"it is not possible to lie to another.  on some level, they read the energy behind the words and the energy never lies."

wow.  okay.

thank you, millie.