"conflict is a habit. in many cases you can avoid it by deconstructing your own position. chances are good that your position contains a variety of judgments. 'they should do this.' 'they shouldn't have done that.' 'if they had/hadn't [fill in the blank] then this wouldn't have happened.'
the problem with conflict is it blinds you to the connection, the love, the common purpose.
conflict is harder to avoid when you are reacting in the moment, but it is possible. take time, look inside yourself. how much of the conflict is yours alone? if you did not carry that conflict forward, if you did not provide it with a safe and comfortable place to rest, would it go away?
sometimes the answer is no. sometimes the safe and comfortable place lies with the other person. but you can let go of your part. you can give it less of a foothold. you can release your negative feelings and absolve yourself of any responsibility for maintaining the conflict.
what would happen in the world if you stopped responding when someone hands you a conflict? if you refused to play your part?"
millie sent me this message as I was in the midst of dealing with my own unpleasant feelings about what someone did not do that I considered to be their responsibility, in fact I pay them to do it. I am not proud to report that my anger over the situation was completely my responsibility. true, they were supposed to do it. true, they didn't. but I exaggerated the negative effect of their failure to do it, in order to fuel my anger, to provide my feelings of conflict a 'safe, comfortable' place to sit. I am right about the facts, but my choices around that (being angry and sending negative energy to others) can't be construed as 'right.'
"right does not matter. humans are so caught up in who is 'right.' right is relative to the situation, not an abstract or absolute truth."
so our legal system has it all wrong, huh?
"there is no absolute 'right' that can be applied from outside a particular situation or interaction between people. the 'right' for that situation or interaction is dependent on the people involved. on the energy involved.
if someone agreed to do something and they are not doing it, why aren't they doing it? is it possible for them to do it? do they want to do it? if they are abandoning a promise or agreement, there is always a reason. your judgment of the 'rightness' of their reason is what causes the conflict. or your disregard of the possibility that they may have a reason at all.
every interaction is a gift. every interaction is a relationship. rather than looking for ways to make another wrong, look for *your* gift in the situation. how will this help you on your soul path? what is your lesson?"
thank you, millie.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
body & soul
"aspiring to true and authentic life does not mean that you leave your body behind in pursuit of the spirit. the body is of the earth and connected to the physical. honor the body, including the emotions, reactions and physical needs that come with having a body.
many humans right now are focusing exclusively on the spirit, to the exclusion of their physical selves and their health and wellbeing. as spirit in body, you will reach the highest harmony with yourself if you honor the physical as well as the spiritual. balance between the two can be achieved by focusing your attention on the balance point.
you will be spirit-only again. there is no hurry. you can accomplish things in-body that cannot be done as spirit-only. savor this experience. treasure it. enjoy the love, the joy and the giddiness as you honor the anger, the frustration and the sadness. these in-body experiences serve you. you need them.
connect with the earth through your physical form. honor the physical all around you. invite spirit to join you here, in your body, on the earth. embrace the duality that is your unique form at this time in this place. enjoy."
thank you, millie.
many humans right now are focusing exclusively on the spirit, to the exclusion of their physical selves and their health and wellbeing. as spirit in body, you will reach the highest harmony with yourself if you honor the physical as well as the spiritual. balance between the two can be achieved by focusing your attention on the balance point.
you will be spirit-only again. there is no hurry. you can accomplish things in-body that cannot be done as spirit-only. savor this experience. treasure it. enjoy the love, the joy and the giddiness as you honor the anger, the frustration and the sadness. these in-body experiences serve you. you need them.
connect with the earth through your physical form. honor the physical all around you. invite spirit to join you here, in your body, on the earth. embrace the duality that is your unique form at this time in this place. enjoy."
thank you, millie.
Monday, February 8, 2010
your authentic self
hi mil, what's the topic for today?
"mindfullness. awareness. living your authentic life as your authentic self."
millie shows me a parade of human figures walking single-file, holding balloons that float above their heads. the balloons are also human-shaped. the walking figures seem heavy, empty, robotic. the balloons are lighter than air, with painted smiles, but also seem empty.
"you are afraid to fully inhabit your body, your life. many of you are simply skimming the surface of your life, afraid of the puzzle that is you, that you have come here to solve."
I have a strong sense that, while we normally trudge slowly up the steep steep slope of self-enlightenment, millie is here to build us a stairway.
"an escalator, if you let me." (said with no trace of ego)
"you resist fully inhabiting yourself for the same reason you don't clean out the garage, or the basement, or the attic. it looks like hard work. it's a little dark and scary. you might find something that upsets you. you don't know how to start. you aren't sure what to do with all that stuff.
it will be easier than you think. when you hold your soul 'stuff' up to the light, it transforms. you don't need to decide whether to keep it, toss it, give it away -- it's yours. you don't need to re-box it and re-store it, it has changed into something much lighter, something that helps you rather than weighing you down. it becomes an asset. a treasure.
the best thing you can do for yourself is look at your 'stuff.' make room for you inside your life. transform the dark corners into livable space. climb into your body and engage with life. move through your life with purpose and intention. really feel what it's like to be you. you are beautiful and wonderful and cool. treat yourself, and every other being on the planet, with reverence and love."
yowza, millie. if you're not careful, people are going to start making little gold figurines of you and praying to them!
"mindfullness. awareness. living your authentic life as your authentic self."
millie shows me a parade of human figures walking single-file, holding balloons that float above their heads. the balloons are also human-shaped. the walking figures seem heavy, empty, robotic. the balloons are lighter than air, with painted smiles, but also seem empty.
"you are afraid to fully inhabit your body, your life. many of you are simply skimming the surface of your life, afraid of the puzzle that is you, that you have come here to solve."
I have a strong sense that, while we normally trudge slowly up the steep steep slope of self-enlightenment, millie is here to build us a stairway.
"an escalator, if you let me." (said with no trace of ego)
"you resist fully inhabiting yourself for the same reason you don't clean out the garage, or the basement, or the attic. it looks like hard work. it's a little dark and scary. you might find something that upsets you. you don't know how to start. you aren't sure what to do with all that stuff.
it will be easier than you think. when you hold your soul 'stuff' up to the light, it transforms. you don't need to decide whether to keep it, toss it, give it away -- it's yours. you don't need to re-box it and re-store it, it has changed into something much lighter, something that helps you rather than weighing you down. it becomes an asset. a treasure.
the best thing you can do for yourself is look at your 'stuff.' make room for you inside your life. transform the dark corners into livable space. climb into your body and engage with life. move through your life with purpose and intention. really feel what it's like to be you. you are beautiful and wonderful and cool. treat yourself, and every other being on the planet, with reverence and love."
yowza, millie. if you're not careful, people are going to start making little gold figurines of you and praying to them!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
raise your vibration
today's message is closely related to the love message. it had the same kind of tenor to it, I believe millie is trying to clarify and expand on the information.
she shows me a vivid picture of a human with slots in their shoulders, and hanging from the slots are VERY heavy boxes of all sizes, each with a custom metal holder that fits precisely into the slots on the shoulders.
this is a complex message about our baggage. we have widely varied and customized baggage. each of us carries our own particular brand/ style/ type/ amount of baggage, and *we* are the ones who customize it. we choose it carefully and we make sure that it is exactly *our* kind of baggage, the kind that fits into our particular slots. and man-o-man is it ever heavy.
she shows me the human divesting themselves of the many, many boxes and containers. the human is becoming lighter and lighter, almost floating when the baggage has all been set down. that seems fairly straightforward.
"set down your baggage! you don't need it. you don't need to examine it, you don't even need to know what it is, just set it down and walk away.
raise your vibration, let the heavy stuff go. filter everything through love goggles, through fun glasses. *look* for laughter! feel how that changes your vibration. it is possible to do this all the time. it just takes practice.
what makes you happy? it is individual. what is fun for me (hunting small furry animals and laying in the sun) may not be fun for you. find your own happiness.
humans usually look at the dark side of things and match their vibration to it. you are trained to do that. it feels right because it is so habitual. deeply ingrained.
as you become more aware, as you begin to hear your spirit, it doesn't feel good to lower your vibration. it makes you uncomfortable. you don't have to do it, just because you always have. you don't have to do it because the ones you love do it.
even though there is sadness and strife in the world, you don't have to match it to care about it. you can maintain your vibration, which ultimately will be healing for the world.
vibrate at *you.* vibrate at fun and laughter and enthusiasm and love. share your vibration with the world. let it encourage others to do the same.
heal yourself, heal the world."
she shows me a vivid picture of a human with slots in their shoulders, and hanging from the slots are VERY heavy boxes of all sizes, each with a custom metal holder that fits precisely into the slots on the shoulders.
this is a complex message about our baggage. we have widely varied and customized baggage. each of us carries our own particular brand/ style/ type/ amount of baggage, and *we* are the ones who customize it. we choose it carefully and we make sure that it is exactly *our* kind of baggage, the kind that fits into our particular slots. and man-o-man is it ever heavy.
she shows me the human divesting themselves of the many, many boxes and containers. the human is becoming lighter and lighter, almost floating when the baggage has all been set down. that seems fairly straightforward.
"set down your baggage! you don't need it. you don't need to examine it, you don't even need to know what it is, just set it down and walk away.
raise your vibration, let the heavy stuff go. filter everything through love goggles, through fun glasses. *look* for laughter! feel how that changes your vibration. it is possible to do this all the time. it just takes practice.
what makes you happy? it is individual. what is fun for me (hunting small furry animals and laying in the sun) may not be fun for you. find your own happiness.
humans usually look at the dark side of things and match their vibration to it. you are trained to do that. it feels right because it is so habitual. deeply ingrained.
as you become more aware, as you begin to hear your spirit, it doesn't feel good to lower your vibration. it makes you uncomfortable. you don't have to do it, just because you always have. you don't have to do it because the ones you love do it.
even though there is sadness and strife in the world, you don't have to match it to care about it. you can maintain your vibration, which ultimately will be healing for the world.
vibrate at *you.* vibrate at fun and laughter and enthusiasm and love. share your vibration with the world. let it encourage others to do the same.
heal yourself, heal the world."
Friday, February 5, 2010
love, part 2
when I walked in the clinic today, millie was sitting in a sun spot on my desk, waiting.
"you are doing great. you understand this better than you think. relax into this feeling."
when I feel I am not 'getting' it, I tend to freeze up. it's one of my things. millie lay down in the sun on my desk and waited for me to un-clench. we sat in silence until my thoughts wandered to how nice the sun felt on my arm. then she spoke
"that is the feeling. without the physical warmth, of course, but feel the energy, the vibration of the sun. it is everywhere, in the air, in your body, in my body. you don't have to search for it, it is just there. that's how the love field is."
millie moved to the window, which always gives me some hope that I may be close to 'getting' it. I am making this harder for myself than it needs to be. as I sat here in the sunshine, I wondered, what is the difference between sunshine and love?
"you do not have to 'deserve' sunshine, you just accept that it is there, equally and everywhere, for everyone. you enjoy it, you use it, you might take it for granted, but you are always aware of its presence. love is the same. you don't need to deserve it, it just is.
enjoy the love, just as you do the sunshine. stretch out in it, revel in it, soak it up. it is there for you, for everyone. there is no need to earn it, no need to worry, no sense in wondering whether you deserve it. just enjoy it, feel it just by turning your thoughts to it. it is freely available everywhere, to everyone.
for now, practice thinking of the sunshine as love. experiment with the idea that you don't have to do anything or be anything to be worthy of all the love in the universe.
breathe it in, soak it up."
thanks, millie.
"you are doing great. you understand this better than you think. relax into this feeling."
when I feel I am not 'getting' it, I tend to freeze up. it's one of my things. millie lay down in the sun on my desk and waited for me to un-clench. we sat in silence until my thoughts wandered to how nice the sun felt on my arm. then she spoke
"that is the feeling. without the physical warmth, of course, but feel the energy, the vibration of the sun. it is everywhere, in the air, in your body, in my body. you don't have to search for it, it is just there. that's how the love field is."
millie moved to the window, which always gives me some hope that I may be close to 'getting' it. I am making this harder for myself than it needs to be. as I sat here in the sunshine, I wondered, what is the difference between sunshine and love?
"you do not have to 'deserve' sunshine, you just accept that it is there, equally and everywhere, for everyone. you enjoy it, you use it, you might take it for granted, but you are always aware of its presence. love is the same. you don't need to deserve it, it just is.
enjoy the love, just as you do the sunshine. stretch out in it, revel in it, soak it up. it is there for you, for everyone. there is no need to earn it, no need to worry, no sense in wondering whether you deserve it. just enjoy it, feel it just by turning your thoughts to it. it is freely available everywhere, to everyone.
for now, practice thinking of the sunshine as love. experiment with the idea that you don't have to do anything or be anything to be worthy of all the love in the universe.
breathe it in, soak it up."
thanks, millie.
love
wow. this was the most difficult topic for me so far, because it ran up against some of *my* stuff. it really is a simple concept, it was just hard for me personally. so, here's what I've learned from millie in the past two days.
"there is a love field that pervades and permeates the earth and the space around it. this love field is always available to you if you reach out and touch it with your mind or heart. the connection is more direct if you reach out with your heart, but sometimes it is easier to start with your mind, not so overwhelming."
millie showed me the two of us as two threads in an infinite blanket, connected to each other and to everyone else, out to infinity. she had me zoom out to see the whole picture, and this blanket of love is everywhere. 'love field' is the best I could do to describe what she sends me when she is addressing this topic.
"the love field is the connection between all things. animals live in fairly close contact with and awareness of the love field. humans experience the love field through their animals. that is why it feels so good, so right, to love and be loved by an animal. it puts you in direct contact with all the love in the universe.
this is our gift. this is our job, our function, to keep you connected until you rediscover how to connect yourself.
that isn't exactly right, you don't need to connect, you already are connected. it takes but a tiny shift in your awareness to realize the everythingness of the love field."
as I mentioned, it took me two days to 'get' this message from millie. there was a lot of back and forth from the desk to the window, and a lot of laying on my chest. at this point, I was trying to jot down some notes about what I thought I understood about what she was sending me. she lay down on my notepad and told me
"just feel it. just feel it."
so I sat. we sat together. still not clear, so she continued
"this field is the fabric of life, and more. it is energy. it is vibration. it is connection. it is the 'one' we are all a part of.
bringing your awareness to it will expand your consciousness. it will bring the infinite to the now. it is not a thing you need to search for. it is not a place you need to find. it is in you, it is everywhere."
I asked her how to access this feeling, this field.
"think of the love you have with your animals, so natural, so automatic. climb inside of that love. become it. be it. you are there. your awareness expands from the animal to the universe of love. there is no difference, no demarcation, no distinction, it just continues on."
at this point, I had spent the better part of the day not-quite-getting the substance of millie's message. I was tired and discouraged, but one more piece came through.
"much of the time, when you think of 'love' in relation to another, you are thinking of that emotion as applied to your *idea* of them. the normal human definition of love is small and incomplete. love is much larger than you realize. and you are immersed in it. completely. constantly."
.....to be continued....
"there is a love field that pervades and permeates the earth and the space around it. this love field is always available to you if you reach out and touch it with your mind or heart. the connection is more direct if you reach out with your heart, but sometimes it is easier to start with your mind, not so overwhelming."
millie showed me the two of us as two threads in an infinite blanket, connected to each other and to everyone else, out to infinity. she had me zoom out to see the whole picture, and this blanket of love is everywhere. 'love field' is the best I could do to describe what she sends me when she is addressing this topic.
"the love field is the connection between all things. animals live in fairly close contact with and awareness of the love field. humans experience the love field through their animals. that is why it feels so good, so right, to love and be loved by an animal. it puts you in direct contact with all the love in the universe.
this is our gift. this is our job, our function, to keep you connected until you rediscover how to connect yourself.
that isn't exactly right, you don't need to connect, you already are connected. it takes but a tiny shift in your awareness to realize the everythingness of the love field."
as I mentioned, it took me two days to 'get' this message from millie. there was a lot of back and forth from the desk to the window, and a lot of laying on my chest. at this point, I was trying to jot down some notes about what I thought I understood about what she was sending me. she lay down on my notepad and told me
"just feel it. just feel it."
so I sat. we sat together. still not clear, so she continued
"this field is the fabric of life, and more. it is energy. it is vibration. it is connection. it is the 'one' we are all a part of.
bringing your awareness to it will expand your consciousness. it will bring the infinite to the now. it is not a thing you need to search for. it is not a place you need to find. it is in you, it is everywhere."
I asked her how to access this feeling, this field.
"think of the love you have with your animals, so natural, so automatic. climb inside of that love. become it. be it. you are there. your awareness expands from the animal to the universe of love. there is no difference, no demarcation, no distinction, it just continues on."
at this point, I had spent the better part of the day not-quite-getting the substance of millie's message. I was tired and discouraged, but one more piece came through.
"much of the time, when you think of 'love' in relation to another, you are thinking of that emotion as applied to your *idea* of them. the normal human definition of love is small and incomplete. love is much larger than you realize. and you are immersed in it. completely. constantly."
.....to be continued....
feedback
a friend wrote to me about her experience with millie's advice. she had something upsetting happen to her, and she kept repeating her new mantra about not giving the situation any more energy. but it took a lot of her energy to focus on not giving the situation any of her energy, and it backfired because by doing that she was actually giving it *more* energy.
then she made herself go outside and focus on finding something pretty to enjoy, and that worked!
she learned that focusing on not focusing on bad things didn't work for her, she simply needs to focus instead on something good. it was, in her words, "a complete head shift."
and that's what millie meant. =)
what makes *your* soul dance?
then she made herself go outside and focus on finding something pretty to enjoy, and that worked!
she learned that focusing on not focusing on bad things didn't work for her, she simply needs to focus instead on something good. it was, in her words, "a complete head shift."
and that's what millie meant. =)
what makes *your* soul dance?
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