marshmallows

I asked millie yesterday how she knows all of this stuff.  she said she remembers it.  I asked her *how* she remembers it.  she sent me an image of marshmallows arranged in a spiral stair-step pattern, going down and also going up from where I was standing.  I couldn't make any sense out of that answer at first, then we were interrupted and I had to wait until the end of the day to resume our conversation.  finally, I asked her what the marshmallows represent.  she sent me a picture of pearls strung together.  I had a flash of understanding.  the pearls represent lifetimes.  then she took me back to the marshmallow image.

"each marshmallow is a distinct and complete lifetime, but they are all made of the same substance.  if you squish them all together, it makes one homogenous thing.  that thing is your experience as a spirit in body."

some of the marshmallows are darker, what does that mean?


"there is no wrong or right, there is only dark and light.  higher and lower vibrations.  we experiment with both.  you gravitate toward your preference, but you only know your preference because you have experienced both.  that is okay, that's how it works.


you must accept *all* of you, all of your experiences, the dark and the light.  then you will have more access to all of your knowledge.  your knowledge will be more accessible when you stop shutting out or denying the parts of you that are dark."

how many lifetimes did it take you to access all of your knowledge, once you accepted yourself?


"three."

how many will it take me?


"the planet is holding a higher vibration now -- it can be done immediately -- it is possible to do it now.  give yourself permission to accept all that you are."

millie, do you know everything?

"I know everything that I have learned, in all of my lifetimes."

that's a lot.

"yes."

do you like being a cat?

"yes, I chose this."

why?


"there are fewer humans than other animals.  being human offers the best opportunity for growth and change.  I do not need that level of growth and change, so I left it for someone who needs it more."

so you are fine-tuning?

"yes."

wow.

thank you, millie.  as always, I am in awe of you.

communication

millie shows me a waterfall pouring over a many-layered step-like rocky outcropping.  the steps, or layers, are not perfectly even like a stairway, but are more random in their spacing and their shapes.


"ease or difficulty in communication partly depends on how many layers, or levels, lie between you and the one you are communicating with.  the number of levels that lie between you depends on many things, and can be different for different topics.  humans are multi-layered, and you communicate on one level about  some things and a completely different level about others.


communication is a type of flow -- that's what the water represents.  in order for it to flow, you must let go of any attachment to the outcome, or the impact of your communication."

wait a minute, I thought some of the main purposes of communication were to have a certain impact, to convey certain information, to get someone to do what you want them to do?  what about to be understood?


"it works much better if you do not expect.  think of it like writing a book or a song.  you put your intention into the words and then you release them to the world.  it is not your choice how people read your book or hear your song.  that choice is up to the reader and the listener.


it would seem silly for an author to demand that you respond to their words a certain way -- to assign them only one meaning, the meaning she assigned them.  how you interpret written words is up to you, the audience, the receiver.


it is no different for spoken words.  craft them carefully so that they hold your true intention.  be honest with yourself about what your true intention is.  then release them.  your responsibility for the words ends when you release them.  you are responsible for their creation and the energy you charge them with, but you cannot possibly know or dictate how they will be received.


if your words are an accurate representation of your true intention, they carry that energy with them.  if someone misinterprets your words, or is not able to understand them, it could be that you are communicating across too many levels -- but that is not a problem with the words or the energy, it is a problem with the distance between the sender and the receiver for that topic.  you can try again with different words, as long as they still truly and accurately describe your intention.  sometimes that will work, sometimes not."

it seems to be a key issue whether your words are true and accurate and honest.

"yes."

what about white lies?

"some white lies are positive words covering up negative feelings.  the words do not really cover the feelings.  both the sender and the receiver know, on some level, that the feelings are negative.  better to be silent in that situation."

what about a situation where the truth could really hurt (a friend asks if they look fat, for example, and they do)?

"in that situation, positive words are conveying positive feelings -- that you love your friend and don't want to hurt them.  they aren't the exact truth, but your words and the underlying feelings match in a less exact way."


this seems to be a fairly strict standard of honesty.


"it is not possible to lie to another.  on some level, they read the energy behind the words and the energy never lies."

wow.  okay.

thank you, millie.

clear your space

I came to the office in a funk today.  nothing specific, just down and discouraged.  I was already wondering how to shake myself out of it.

millie showed me a human holding an umbrella in a soft rain.  there was a definite distinction between the atmosphere under the umbrella and the atmosphere outside of it.


"you are responsible for your space, for keeping it clear.  your space is approximately the size of the clearing under an umbrella.


to clear your space, give your own true vibration a color.  vibrate at that color for a moment, and then lighten it at least one shade.  bring your vibration up a notch.  think about vibrating at the new shade.  intend that you continue to vibrate at the lighter shade.  it doesn't require any effort, just intend.


use your tools.  check to make sure you are grounded. visualize the heavy energy leaving your space.  move it out with intention, without effort.  and it always helps to have a cat on your lap to pet.  we raise your vibration."

of course it worked.  I am feeling much better now.  I started with gray gloomy pictures of me under a black umbrella in a steady downpour on a cloudy day.  I ended up with a spring shower, the kind where the sun is shining through the rain, standing on bright spring green grass with little baby ducklings waddling around.  it was quite a shift.

and yes, millie was on my lap.  =)

thank you, millie.

difficult people

"difficult people are unhappy people.  they give themselves no permission to be free, to flow, to be happy.  they can't control their own lives, so many times they try to control the lives of others in order to gain control in their own.  they don't realize that control is an illusion.


they carry a lot of victim energy, and don't realize that they are the only ones standing between themselves and lightness of being.  they are constantly looking outward for someone or something to blame, never inward to accept responsibility for the life they are creating."

I ask her if she has any suggestions for dealing with difficult people.  any ideas for letting them brush by without affecting us.

"stay out of judgment.  allow them to walk their path.  allow them to be who they are.  avoid attracting that kind of energy to you by removing your attention and your focus.  don't dwell on the behavior of others.  use your tools -- stay centered, don't take on the vibration of others.  vibrate at you.


if you can't say something nice, say nothing."


so mom was right.  =)

thank you, millie.

lightness of being

millie shows me colorful helium balloons and hot air balloons floating through the sky.  I ask her why those things make me happy.


"they literally lift your spirit.  they remind you of your natural state:  free, light, floating, joyous"

she sends me a feeling like the giddy weightlessness at the top of the roller coaster, the free flying moment at the front and back of each arc of the swing on the swing set.

how do we achieve it?

"allow.  release.  it is a choice to hang on to heavy energy or to let it go.  tie each of your worries or troubles to a balloon and let it float away.  feel yourself getting lighter with each one gone.


pay attention to your vibration.  practice changing it.  practice raising your vibration.  think of the giddiness you felt as a kid.  match it.  hold it for a moment, or longer if you can.  it might be uncomfortable at first, it is unfamiliar to you now.  keep practicing, it will get easier.


each of you is a master musician, you can play any song you choose.  the more you practice the easier it gets.


seek out things that lift your spirits.  colorful balloons.  evergreen green against perfect sky blue.  sunlight sparkling on snow.  warm sandy beaches.  don't go into effort, just accept what comes to you and *focus* on it, even for a moment.  appreciate beauty all around you.  live from that space.


this is your natural state.  vibrate at peace and love and joy."

thank you, millie.

life, death, immortality

"humans have a lot of scary pictures about death.  know that those are just pictures.  what you call death is just a transition, a way of moving between levels."

I couldn't exactly translate what millie sent me about what we move between.  dimensions isn't right, levels isn't exactly right either, it's more like 'beingnesses' which I decided was too unwieldy, not to mention made up.

she shows me a river of light, and human forms getting into boats and traveling down the river of light until they disappear into a blinding white light that the river is flowing toward.


"life and death are both part of the flow.  the flow is endless and circular.  when you incarnate, you leave friends and loved ones behind in order to live in a body, to experience and learn the things that you can only learn while in body.  when you leave each lifetime, you leave friends and loved ones behind so that you can transition out of your body.


the lessons you learn during each lifetime, each in-body experience, help to move you along on your path as a spirit.  each lifetime changes us, helps us grow, and then we graduate to the next topic, phase, place on our path."

millie uses 'us' to mean all of us, animals and humans.  she also says not every lifetime is for learning and growing.  sometimes we just live.  we don't have to have goals.  there is no one keeping score.

"spend your time savoring life.  squeeze every drop of juice from the fruit.  stay present in the moment, do not worry about the future.  the future does not exist.  wild animals do not worry about 'not dying' they concentrate on 'staying alive.'  focus on now.  now is real.


children and animals understand that there is no end, only change.  you learn your death pictures as you grow up in human society, and you agree to pick them up and carry them forward with you.  children and animals generally do not come into the world with death pictures.  they come in with the understanding that the you that is your spirit will never end, cannot be killed, will cycle through many lifetimes as the flow continues to move us all in the dance of life and death and life again.


we are all immortal, and each lifetime is a gift, a choice.  enjoy your time here, learn your lessons or not, know that you will be back.  set down your death pictures and enjoy the flow."

regression

"infants and toddlers throw a tantrum when things don't go their way.  this frustration and anger and helplessness that lead to violence - let's call it ogre energy - this ogre energy is an early attempt at getting your needs met.  it worked ok then.  it doesn't work too well now.


sometimes you regress when you experience a feeling that reminds you of ogre energy, particularly frustration.  when you feel frustrated, especially when there is some self-blame going on, it is easy to slide into ogre energy.  only now, when you feel ogre energy, you generally don't direct it outward, you direct it inward.  you yell and scream at yourself, you are impatient and intolerant and not nice.  you hit and kick and behave badly.  you beat yourself up. and then you beat yourself up even more for allowing the internal tantrum, for being an ogre to yourself.  it's a no-win.


it is not easy being human.  you have so many habits - personal, social, as a species - that lead you to self-violence.  I invite you to practice love, practice understanding, practice forgiveness.  practice on *you.*


give yourself permission to learn and grow and make mistakes.  permission to be human.  permission to *be.*


when you feel frustrated, allow it.  when you are angry, allow it.  feel your feelings and then move on, don't punish yourself for them.  be an ogre if you need to be.  and then lighten up!"