millie cat

celebration

2011-01-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

we are planning a celebration of millie next wednesday at 12:30pm. please feel free to join us if you are so moved. directions can be found on the clinic website at harmonyanimalwellness.com.

in other news, she is not done with us, and there will be more millie wisdom forthcoming.

peace & harmony to you.

lifetimes

2011-01-17T19:18:00.001-07:00

millie shows me telescoping shapes, like the folded paper people cut outs we did as kids, all the same rough shape and linked together by the hands and feet. only she showed me telescoping cat shapes first, shaped like her, unfolding from somewhere inside her and then collapsing back into her, glowing gold and becoming one thing, becoming a whole, becoming her. I didn't understand it until she showed me the same thing with human shapes, unfolding then collapsing into one glowing gold form.

"these are lifetimes. each one is distinct, each one is unique, but all of your lifetimes, past and future, come together in you. you are a product of all of your lifetimes, inseparable from them."

she then shows me a tapestry with two threads highlighted in gold, coming from different directions and then twirling around each other for a span.

"this is you and I. we are meant to be. we wove ourselves together in order to create this connection, this magic."

there is an overwhelming sense of freedom about the tapestry, not a feeling I usually associate with weavings, frankly. but each thread in this one is completely free to choose its path, to weave alongside another or not, to travel horizontally or not, even to end. she showed me some that have ended.

"we are all completely free to do whatever we choose. our destiny is our own. our path is up to us. the tapestry just is, encompassing all, with room for any and every choice that has ever or will ever be made."

millie, I cannot express in words how much I love you and what a gift your presence in my life is.

millie

2011-01-17T19:18:00.000-07:00

millie left her body today around lunchtime. she was herself this morning, hanging out in her favorite spots, supervising us as we went about our day. she didn't eat yesterday or this morning, and she didn't greet us at the door when we came in this morning, so we had an inkling that something was amiss, but we weren't expecting this. we aren't sure exactly what happened, perhaps a stroke, perhaps a blood clot. the end came quickly.

I was in the office a lot this past weekend, and I did talk to millie on both days. last night I posted what she told me on saturday. this next post is what she told me last night. how prophetic it was.

I have no idea what will happen now. I have spoken to animals who have passed, so I know it is possible. if millie continues to speak to me, I will continue to share it with you.

peace and harmony to you all.

christi

fireworks

2011-01-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

millie shows me a human facing a wall. all they can see is a big white wall. then she zooms out a little and the human is standing at the base of a very tall cone, so close that they can't see around it in any direction. the base is wide and the cone is about ten times the height of the human. from their position, it looks like an insurmountable wall. she zooms out some more and there are many of these cones, all with humans pressing their noses against the base.

"remember?"

yes. this is about flow. right now, there isn't any water in sight, no flow at all. but I remember her lesson about the mountains in the river... as the flow increases, the resistance decreases exponentially, because the mountains (and the cones) are narrower at the top. you get a lot of pay-off for increasing flow even a little bit. I remember. I just don't know how to put it on command.

then the picture shifts to one of those fireworks that have the curly spiral that shoots upward. the firework explodes, sparks fly and the spiral just takes off, whistling like crazy as it zooms through the air. she keeps showing me the same firework exploding over and over.

"you all have your personal fireworks. things that set you off. things that send you spiraling out of control, emotionally, energetically. you don't have to ignite them. you can turn your attention, your energy away from the fireworks that you set off repeatedly in yourself. your focus is the match. take your focus away from your personal fireworks *before* they ignite, before they explode, before they go spiraling out of control."

wow. that is a powerful idea. I think I can do that.

thank you, millie.

creativity

2010-12-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

millie shows me a human figure with beautiful flowers bursting out of the chest, flowing from the ears, appearing from what seems to be nowhere and filling the space all around the person.

"you need to let your creativity flow. it wants to be free. it wants to be manifest."

how do I let it flow?

she shows me the same human figure, carefully and methodically setting a brick on top of each flower as it appears, crushing it.

"all you need to do is stop stifling it. you are all amazingly creative creatures. you are powerful. get out of your own way. unleash your creative powers. the bricks are all of the things you block yourself with, all of the ways you tell yourself no, shouldn't, mustn't, can't. allow yourself, free yourself, create your world and let it flow. it takes more effort to block your creativity than to release it and allow it to move freely."

she shows me the human figure again, now resting on the ground, totally at ease. flowers are growing from the figure, sprouting up from every surface, without any effort, just growing like crazy.

"it doesn't have to be hard. let it be easy."

thank you, millie.

lighten your load

2010-07-20T21:47:00.000-06:00

I was feeling kind of low, so I asked millie for some advice. she showed me a canoe, sitting very low in the water. I was sitting in the canoe and there was a feeling of heaviness that came with the picture.

"look in the boat. do you see all the dark, heavy objects?"

yes.

"that is what is weighing you down. start to fill your boat with love and light and it will displace the darkness."

but what are the dark objects? don't I need to know what they are before I get rid of them?

"no. just pour golden light into the canoe, let it lift the dark objects out and they will float away on the current. you don't need to know what is weighing you down to let it go. obsessing about your troubles only makes them more pronounced. your focus and energy are better spent in filling your space with love and light."

thank you, millie.

jump off the boat

2010-06-27T13:52:00.002-06:00

I am still feeling somewhat overwhelmed by life these days, by the demands on my time and my apparent inability to make time for me. I asked millie for help. she shows me a small sailboat being tossed and buffeted by large white-capped waves in a somewhat stormy sea. it's a pretty accurate portrayal of how I'm feeling.

the boat is me?

"you are on the boat."

why is the water so rough?

"because you are fighting it. the boat represents the 'stuff' that humans construct around them to separate themselves from the flow. the water is flow. it can be gentle and easy or it can be rough, your choice."

she shows me dashing about on the sailboat, trimming sails, tying off lines, turning the rudder this way and that way, frantically trying to stay afloat and keep the boat headed where I want to go, as the waves crash into it and push it off course.

all of the tasks, all of the things that I think I must do on the boat, those are all an illusion?

"yes."

what do I do? if I stop sailing, won't I drown?

"you can't drown. you and the water are the same. you are part of the flow."

so what do I do?

"jump off the boat. jump into the water."

she shows me swimming underwater with no apparent need to breathe, and then floating on the surface, completely relaxed.

I am afraid of the water, I am afraid to leave the boat. how do I overcome that fear?

"live in the moment. stop living for the next. be present now. keep your focus now. the flow will happen."

and I won't need the boat?

"correct."

thank you, millie.

just keep swimming

2010-06-20T22:35:00.001-06:00

it's been a wild ride the past couple of weeks. as I sat down to talk to millie, there was no specific question on my mind, but I had kind of a what-the-heck-is-going-on feeling. the first image millie sent me was of me walking my path, but I wasn't viewing it from a normal perspective, she was showing it to me from underneath. I was watching my footfalls from beneath the path, looking up at the soles of my feet.

"things are a little topsy-turvy right now. you may feel that you have lost your perspective, or that things have really changed in your world. you may feel disoriented."

yep, that about sums it up.

then she shows me walking around the outside of a hollow ball, like a huge beach ball. as I circumnavigated the ball, I was upside down for a while, but then right side up again. as she showed me this, she sent me feelings of trust and optimism and something harder to describe, but sort of like the mantra of that little blue fish in finding nemo... 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming...'

"follow your path. trust that if you keep walking your path, things will eventually work out. know that life is change, and by moving through your world, you will experience change. that's okay. it is normal. keep walking your path and eventually things will even out again. only to shift again in the future. that's how it works. trust that your path is the right place for you, no matter where it leads."

thank you, millie.

flow

2010-06-16T22:48:00.001-06:00

millie shows me a lazy river. humans are floating by on inner tubes. tall skinny mountains are protruding from the water, very narrow at the top, wider at the bottom. some of the people are just bouncing off the sides of the mountains and floating on by. others get stuck on a mountain and can't get around it. at first I thought the mountains were people, but it was broader than that. the mountains represent any frustration or annoyance, anything that you find yourself in resistance to.

"what you resist has power over you, you get stuck on it because of the attraction created by your resistance. you each have your own particular mountains, you have attracted them in order to learn the lessons they hold for you."

she shows me the water level sinking. because the mountains are wider at the bottom, it becomes increasingly difficult to get past them as the water goes down. she then raises the water level, until it is quite easy to get past the mountain tops. then she shows the water level a little above the mountain tops, accompanied by a very free and easy feeling. once in a while a mountain top will brush the underside of an inner tube, but it is fleeting and brief.

"the water represents flow. the more flow you have, the less resistance, the less time you spend stuck on any particular problem or issue."

I really like that, it feels great. how do I increase my flow?

"turn up your trust, your ease. intend your flow to be smooth and abundant. turn down your fear and your resistance."

thank you, millie.

the sea

2010-06-08T18:51:00.000-06:00

millie shows me an underwater scene. we are floating in the ocean, moving rhythmically back and forth with the tides, the waves. the sunlight is filtering down upon sea urchins and schools of silvery fish. we are dolphins.

"the creatures of the sea hold the energy of flow and connectedness for the planet. they have chosen to do this. they are full of love and light.

it is enough that you throw your physical garbage at them, your waste, your refuse, your toxic chemicals. do not also throw your emotional garbage at them. when you are upset and angry about what is happening to the planet, do not turn your thoughts to the sea and the creatures there. the negative energy flows with your thoughts, and does not distinguish between the oil company executives and the sea creatures, the negativity blasts everything in its path.

to make a difference, to truly help, send only love and light to the creatures of the sea. positive vibrations and healing energy are a much better gift than fear and anger. better for them, better for you. know that terrible things happen, understand that change will be healthier for the planet, and effect that change by shifting your own negative emotions into positive feelings for the planet and her children."

thank you, millie.

got milk?

2010-05-17T18:16:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a glass milk bottle. she shows the milk pouring into a bowl, a pitcher, a glass. she shows it going through a crazy straw.

"milk is the life and you are the bottle, the vessel. the milk will take whatever shape you give it. the shape of your life is entirely dependent on you.

if you want more, you must first make room. your milk bottle tends to fill up. if there is something lacking in your life, some new direction you want to take, some new thing you would like to attract, you must first change your shape so as to allow more milk to flow to you.

make space for the things you want. they will flow."

thank you, millie.

fun

2010-05-13T19:45:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a bouncy castle, the kind that kids jump around in at carnivals and birthday parties. the human figure in the bouncy castle is very stiff and rigid, and not having a very good time.

"life is like a bouncy castle. to really enjoy it, you must be flexible and willing to go in unexpected directions. you must be able to change direction without much notice. you must be willing to fall and trust that you will bounce right back.

being stiff and rigid in your bouncy castle will lead to fear and frustration as you are thrown around against your will. you cannot control the bounce. the bounce just happens.

let go of your need for control. loosen up and enjoy the ride."

thank you, millie.

fill your space

2010-05-05T13:33:00.000-06:00

millie shows me flowers growing in time-lapse... pushing up through the ground, budding, filling out very quickly, becoming full and beautiful in a matter of moments.

"it makes no sense to be less than your full, complete self. holding yourself back from your true potential because you are afraid to grow is like a flower opening only part way. that is not how the universe works. we are all meant to fully be.

no one is born to shrink, or to become only a part of themselves, fulfilling only a piece of their potential.

be. grow. live.

do not fear. the only thing to fear is fear itself -- those were wise words. and I say don't even fear fear. what would you do if you knew you could not fail? do it.

be the biggest, brightest flower you can possibly be."

thank you, millie.

simultaneity

2010-05-03T19:23:00.000-06:00

"you are simultaneously mothers and daughters, fathers and husbands, friends and sisters and teachers and humans and spirits.

you are simultaneously operating at a basic, biological level -- breathing (in, out, in, out) and beating (lub, dub, lub, dub) -- and at a macro level, as a part of the grand cosmic dance we are all engaged in.

you shift your focus from daily life (what is that smell? use the turn signal. did I forget to turn off the oven?) to the wide universe (who am I? why am I here? what are my lessons for this life?).

thinking at a macro level brings perspective. use it. when you feel bogged down or annoyed by the minutiae, remember to pull back and view it from the distance of spirit, the distance of "what part does this play in the everything?" this will help you ease through your life. all you need to do is remember to shift your perspective."

like the trees/ forest thing?

"exactly."

so we should place less importance on our lives?

"just don't get stuck in the biology. remember to bring spirit into it. give yourself perspective on it all."

gotcha. thank you, millie.

celebrate

2010-05-01T16:30:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a may pole, with humans dancing around it. each is holding a ribbon attached to the pole, connecting them to the center. some are dressed as fairies, some are wearing masks of cows, foxes, birds.

"humans are constantly setting yourselves apart. whether you think you are above nature, better than the rest of the natural world, or below nature, somehow less worthy or pure -- either view sets you apart.

you are as much a part of the rest of the universe as any other being in existence. there is no separation between mankind and the rest of us.

when you celebrate spring and animal and nature, you also celebrate *you.*

there is no need to don a mask in order to be part of the natural world. you are every bit as much a part of it as the cows, foxes and birds. we are all connected. we are all one.

rely on that connection, relax into it. this is not a club you can be kicked out of. you are permanent members."

frog prince

2010-04-28T11:20:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a toad, squatting in the mud, hiding beneath the leaves. the toad stands up and turns into a man, then squats back down into a toad. it goes back and forth several times.

"we are all a blend of the light and the dark, the positive and the less so. the contrast between the two gives us depth, dimension. you hide from yourself the parts of you that you consider ugly, undesirable. look at those parts. honor them as part of your experience in the universe.

you can shift the way you interact with your darker parts, be less controlled by them, be more aware of their presence and what they bring to the mixture that is you. but don't hide from yourself. don't judge yourself by the darkest parts of you.

you are a beautiful blend of dark and light. honor that. honor you. honor the blend in others. don't focus on the dark. try not to see things as black and white, but the shades and shapes and colors that make up who we are.

accept yourself so that you can accept others. love yourself. all of you."

thank you, millie.

raindrops

2010-04-27T19:33:00.000-06:00

"each individual raindrop is small and seems insignificant, but together they can add up to mighty rivers, great lakes, massive floods."

the raindrops represent each of us as individuals, and they also represent the amount of growth we achieve, or information we take in at a time.

"the drops also represent your thoughts and actions. the ripples stretching away from each raindrop as it hits the surface are the energetic resonance of your thoughts and actions. thoughts and actions do not stop at the boundary of you and everything else, they resonate far beyond you."

she shows me a human sitting in water in the rain, the human dissolves and becomes part of the water, and then re-forms as a human. she shows me this dissolving and reforming several times.

"your rain barrel, your personal store of knowledge and experience is at once distinct and also part of the whole. water is water, where ever you find it it has the same physical and chemical properties, whether it is in a glass, or a steel tank, or a pond. you can contain it differently, but it is all water, and all water knows itself.

the rain, the water that comes your way, is nothing new. it is all a reminder, an awakening of what you already know, what you already are."

thank you, millie.

spring

2010-04-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a flower, in time-lapse photography, the whole progression from seed to beautiful flowering plant. clouds are rushing by, rain, sun and darkness are coming and going.

"spring is a time of accelerated growth, a good time to be intentional about your change. you can leave behind the old, heavier, parts of you, the parts that don't serve you anymore. it is effortless to leave them. don't chop or prune or hack these parts off, just outgrow them. step away from the old. aim your energy and growth in the direction of your highest good."

the picture shifts to a jack-and-the-beanstalk type plant, growing rapidly, shooting into the clouds.

"grow. the sky's the limit."

thank you, millie.

oranges

2010-04-20T17:58:00.000-06:00

millie shows me two oranges. one has a thick peel and the fruit inside is dry and tasteless. the other has a thin peel with juicy, full fruit.

"energy that goes into your peel is unavailable for your fruit. put your energy into yourself, not your shell. focus on your juice, not your peel."

I love the food analogies, they make so much sense!

thank you, millie.

unfold your fan

2010-04-19T10:54:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a delicate japanese fan with beautiful artwork. then she closes it.

"you all walk around with your fans folded, hiding your true selves, so that you look as much as possible like everyone else."

the fan opens part way, then snaps shut. there is a feeling of fear.

"fans are not as pretty when they are closed. they aren't functional when they are closed. humans are the same way. open your fan. you function better when you are open. it takes a lot of energy to close yourself off, let go of the fear and use that energy for a positive purpose."

I associate total openness with lack of boundaries, over-sharing, lots of negative things.

"everyone has boundaries. physical, energetic, emotional boundaries. the problem isn't that boundaries are lacking, but that people fail to observe them. do what you need to do to keep yourself comfortable, but know that you can occupy your own physical and energetic space in such a way that others do not intrude.

this is a separate issue from your openness. you can be open and also fully occupy your space, with no reactivity or defensiveness, you simply own your space and others cannot affect that."

it seems that we look outside of ourselves when we should be looking in, and vice-versa.

"that is a side effect of living so many lifetimes in a purely physical, body-based world. you forget what is possible. you lose touch with some of your tools. as you re-integrate as a spirit in body, these tools will become more available to you."

so I'm guessing my use of these tools will not prevent others from over-sharing.

"no. but it will help you not to be bothered by that. and it will help you to maintain your own space, with your own energy, which always feels right and good. the energy of others, whatever that may be, will not enter your space."

that does sound good.

"as you move through the world, sure of your space, comfortable in your space, you can let go of fear. scary things may come, but they cannot enter your space."

that sounds great!

"you can do this. you already do it. when the fear gets into your space, it is because you agree with it. when you agree with it, you accept it, you allow it, and it comes in. try just looking at the fear from a neutral place. don't agree. don't resist. just look. see what happens.

let go of fear and it will let go of you.

open yourself to life, to each other, to the real, full you. unfold your fan."

thank you, millie.

community

2010-04-17T20:25:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a boat with people rowing.

"when you all row in the same direction, with the same intent, there is progress and ease. when you row in different directions, there is discord and stress.

you are all in the boat together. whether you choose to row together or not is a function of individual free will."

what about our desire to place ourselves first? how does that rock the boat?

"you live in a community. most of you live in several communities. you row with your communities to the extent you choose to. there is a delicate balance between rowing for yourself alone and rowing for your community. enlightened self interest dictates that you row for your community in order to row for yourself. there is power in the actions of the many that is not present in the action of the one."

so we can row for everyone and ourselves at the same time?

"that is the most effective way. find the intersection of you and everyone else and put your energy there. it doesn't take away from your individuality, it multiplies you and your effort in the world."

thank you, millie.

pay attention to the small stuff

2010-04-16T16:11:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a small ladybug crawling up my leg. it stops on my knee and starts to speak in millie's voice.

"sometimes the information that comes your way is small and subtle."

the ladybug starts to dance, complete with top hat and cane. then it stops and looks at me.

"it isn't going to dance a jig to get your attention. to receive your information, just be open to it. make space for it in your life. the more space you give it, the easier it will be to see and understand.

don't work at it. don't hunt for it. just listen and wait. notice it when it comes. acknowledge it and let it go on by. let it land on you like a butterfly, like a gift.

actually, it is not so rare as a butterfly landing on you, more like lightening bugs on a summer evening. the information is everywhere. when you look in one direction and see bugs flash all over the place, then you look somewhere else and see more of them flash, it is like information readily available wherever you look. open yourself. be grounded. be centered. pay attention."

thank you, millie.

galactic adventurers

2010-04-12T19:43:00.001-06:00

"humans are not the only beings out there and earth is not the only planet with people. they don't all look like you, but they are part of the 'we' that you and I are a part of. it's a pretty big 'we.' all of the stories, the science-fiction, the fantasy that humans have written books about and made into movies comes from the collective knowledge and memory.

all is possible. nothing is impossible. if you can imagine it, it can be done, and probably has. there are no limits, no restrictions, no rules.

this planet is very rule-bound, but you have made all the rules up. they aren't real. well, they are as real as you make them with your belief, so for some, they are very real. but reality is a construct, a definition humans have chosen, to distinguish between what you can see and hear and feel, versus all the rest of the everything. it is all real. you just can't perceive all of it and so you define it out of existence. that doesn't really erase it, just makes it harder for you to see and understand.

if you approach the all-that-is with the attitude that anything is possible, you will greatly broaden your horizons and free yourself for exploration.

we are all explorers, inner and outer exploration. it's what we do. it's why we exist. it is divine purpose."

thank you, millie.

peas in a pod

2010-04-09T19:29:00.000-06:00

millie shows me peas in a pod. that's what she called it, but I pictured edamame (soy beans) because that's what I'm familiar with.

"each pea is individual, separate, but together -- made of the same stuff. they are both individual and the same, just like humans. you are meant to grow together like peas.

no matter how different your lives, your personalities, your preferences, your outward appearances, you are all made of the same stuff.

notice how each pea is protected by a skin, a shell. your protective layers keep you safe, but they keep you separate. think about shedding all the protective layers you carry and being your authentic, naked self in in the world. think about the fear that idea brings up. look at that fear. what is it?"

good question.

thanks, millie.

change

2010-04-08T19:03:00.000-06:00

"change is good. it is inevitable. you can look forward and steer your growth, or you can look backward and be surprised, disturbed, upset by change. change and growth are meant to go hand-in-hand, but if you resist change you resist growth.

grow or die. this is a mandate from the universe. 'die' is figurative, you can just rot in place. a form of death. movement is the natural way of things."

thank you, millie.

human race

2010-04-05T18:26:00.000-06:00

as usual, it takes me a while to quiet my mind so I can hear millie. the first image I get is a race car, kind of cartoonish, all leaning forward with swoosh marks showing how fast it is going.

"you are all so focused on the *next* thing. it leaves you no energy for now, it makes it so difficult for you to be present in the moment. stop the car. get out and sit in the sun.

you are focused on the lack, what you don't have. focus instead on the abundance, what you have."

she shows me children playing on a swing set, free and happy, totally present. how did we lose that?

"competition. it becomes a race. you are trained that way. grades. money. houses. cars. boats. jewelry. it never ends, there is no finish line and no winner -- only losers.

quit the race. step into *your* life. be present. that's where happiness is. within. be still. be quiet. be you. be love. don't forget the love."

thank you, millie.

sharks

2010-04-03T17:24:00.000-06:00

sometimes I am not quite clear on millie's message. perhaps this one is for someone else. perhaps I just haven't yet tripped on the problem she is outlining. it is hardest to see yourself.

she shows me a shark. as I sometimes do, I mentally erase it, thinking that can't be right. she shows me the same shark again.

"sharks are loners, an evolutionary dead-end. they get most of their connection and interaction with other beings as they consume their prey. it's a pretty solitary life. we are not sharks. we are social. we are meant to interact as social creatures. you can't hide from the growth and the learning that goes along with being a social creature, it is part of the deal you chose when you came back as human. the interaction is the most important part."

thank you, millie.

body & spirit

2010-04-01T20:12:00.000-06:00

I've been stewing about the idea that we are not individuals, puzzling it in my head, trying to figure out how that fits with what I think I know about the world. millie helped me out with it today. she showed me a turtle.

"humans are like turtles. you tend to withdraw into your body. that's okay, it's normal, but you can't escape spirit. it is everywhere, inside and outside of us. we are living the dichotomy of spirit in body. spirit and body are two very different things. your mind is a product of your body, which is why the body feels so real compared to spirit. all the learning from each lifetime, each body, goes to educate all."

millie shows me light passing through a dragonfly's wings.

"bodies are like prisms. we make sense of the light, we really experience it, we define it."

she shows me an amorphous blob, I can't really describe it, but she says it represents all of the spirit not currently in body. it has distinct parts within that seem to hang together. most are light, but some are dark.

"we all share a vibration with other beings and spirits in our group. each group has a different vibration. when you meet someone for the first time and you feel like you have known them all your life, that's because you share a similar vibration."

why are some of them dark?

"they share a preference for power and fear and violence."

what happens if we shift this planet toward the light?

"they will become uncomfortable and will go somewhere else."

are we close?

"teetering on the edge."

what can I do?

"embrace the light and love within you. live it."

why are the bodies so important?

"we learn more from the struggle to exist as both, much more than without the body."

so there is no struggle when we are not in body?

"we are more like observers then."

I feel like I've got it, but millie hasn't left my chest yet.

can I type now?

"almost."

what am I missing?

"it is the *interaction* between bodies, between different energies and vibrations and spirits, that is so important, so educational. focus on your interactions. that is how to share the love."

anything else?

"this is easy. let go and feel the flow."

she has me zoom in on an issue in my life, then zoom out to see the issue in the full context of my life, then we zoom out even further to see my life in the context of everything.

wow. thanks, millie.

flowers

2010-03-29T19:07:00.001-06:00

just as with the trees, millie is showing me field full of wildflowers. we zoom in on a yellow one, missing half its petals, then out again to see the whole meadow. we zoom in on a white one, with a crooked stem, then out again to the wide meadow.

"humans are like that. you all have flaws. none of you are a perfect specimen, there is no such thing as perfect. each of you is full of beauty and you contribute to a greater beauty. taken as a whole, you are really quite lovely."

what makes us lovely?

"many of you shine with a special light. more and more of you are shining all the time. it doesn't really make sense to talk about 'we' and 'you' and 'us' and 'them.' we are all one. you see yourselves as individuals but you are also part of a larger, connected whole. it is easier to see humanity as a group when you are not currently human."

millie shows me the whole earth with people all over the place shining their lights out into space. it really is very pretty.

so, what do we do now?

"live your life. be who you are. learn. grow. give others permission to learn and grow. you don't have to 'do' anything. you are being it. you are all meant to shine as gods, as goddesses, as the source shines, as I shine."

millie is sitting across my chest, purring. I have my eyes closed, but I 'look' down at her and she is glowing gold.

I thought that was the message for the day, but she had more. I had a hard time picking the right word for what she said next...

"your individuality is a mask, shield, tool."

a tool for what?

"for discovering the truth about you."

and that is?

"that there is no such thing as individuality. not the way you think of it, as though you are truly alone and separate. you and I are one. I am you, giving you a message for yourself. you are me, giving me a gift from myself. everyone you meet is a mirror."

I don't like the sound of that. I *like* my individuality.

"we are individual expressions of the same thing."

then what is the point?

"curiosity. learning. growth."

I am not happy with the idea that all of creation is for the amusement and entertainment of a bored source.

"we are *all* source. there is no source apart from all of us. *we* choose this."

why?

"why not? what else would we be doing?"

I don't want to be everyone. I don't want everyone to be me.

"only in a larger sense is this true. the flowers are still flowers, it's just that the meadow is really really big. you are still you, with your own particular mission and lessons to learn."

hmmm. I will have to think about this, I'm having a hard time getting my head around it.

"saying we are all one is not the same as saying we are all the *same* one. we are just made of the same 'stuff.'"

I'm kind of attached to my me-ness. I guess I will need to look at why that is.

thank you, millie.

forest & trees

2010-03-25T19:17:00.000-06:00

millie shows me an eagle flying high. it can see all the small things on the ground, but it is soaring high above them. it's a very powerful picture.

"view your life from a broader perspective. humans tend to get bogged down in the minutiae of your lives. notice the small things, appreciate them for what they bring to your life, but don't get caught up in them."

I'm having a hard time reconciling this advice with the 'slow down and appreciate the gems in your life' advice.

"take time to *see* the gems around you, but also look at your life from a higher place -- notice how the small things fit in with everything else. be engaged with your life and simultaneously able to see it from a distance."

she shows me a heavily wooded slope. we zoom in on a tree, we can even see a bird on a branch, then our perspective shifts and we are looking at the whole forest. she takes me back and forth between the two perspectives a few times... tree, forest, tree, forest. then suddenly we are looking both at the tree AND the forest at the same time.

"see the parts of your life from a broader perspective, as part of the rich and varied tapestry of *everything*. re-examine the true size and importance of things that bother or upset you. they are not as large as they seem if you zoom out. put them in perspective. soar above them. you may find that what bothered you yesterday is not so important today. give it a try."

I practice this perspective thing she is talking about. I look at my daily annoyances, then zoom out and look at the miracle of my life as a whole. I do this several times, like she showed me with the trees, and then something shifts. it gets easier, for one thing, and new connections become visible between people, animals, everything. everyone and everything is connected, and the connections show up as gold strings, lines, pipes, leading from each being to everything around it.

"that's it, you've got it."

thank you, millie.

brain storm

2010-03-23T19:28:00.000-06:00

some days I hear millie perfectly and it is easy and fluid. some days it takes me forever to catch even a little piece of her story, what she is telling me. those days are frustrating. today was one of those days. finally, my brain shut up enough that I could see the picture she was sending me, of a thunderstorm moving through, complete with dark clouds and lightning and thunder, with lots of tension in the air.

"once the storm moves through and the atmosphere clears, everything is calmer and you can hear better."

so I have thunderstorms in my brain?

"electrical storms, yes."

how do I calm them down?

"you know how. find your center. ground. sit in silence and intend to quiet yourself. use your tools."

why do they happen?

"it is normal. maybe from habit, from the way you prepare yourself to face the world or respond to certain situations."

she shows me a train running on a track.

"your habits, your ways of thinking and being, are deeply ingrained. like a train on a track, it is difficult for you to travel anywhere except on the tracks you have built for yourself."

so how do I change my thinking? I start to picture building new tracks, but she interrupts that thought and shows me a scene with no tracks at all.

"you don't need your tracks. you can decide in each moment what to think, how to act. you don't need old programming telling you what to do. try moving through your life with no tracks -- see how that goes."

wow. okay, I'll try.

thank you, millie.

the myth of control

2010-03-22T16:38:00.000-06:00

millie shows me two scenes simultaneously. in both scenes, a woman is walking through a field of head high wheat. it is impossible for them to see where they are going. the first person is enjoying the walk, noticing the color of the sky, the feel of the wheat brushing her skin, the smell of the earth, the hum of the insects. the first person is connected to the world around her. she is curious, but not afraid.

the second person is anxious, always trying to see what is up ahead, not taking the time to enjoy the walk, the sunshine, the experience. she is not connected to the world around her, she is barely connected to herself. all of her focus and energy is being thrown out in front of her to try and achieve the impossible-- to see what is coming before it gets here.

because the second person is so hyper alert, she catches a glimpse of a tiger ahead in the distance. she instantly goes into fear overdrive, into emotional red alert. she is sure the tiger will eat her at any moment, so she redoubles her efforts to see what is coming, to foretell her future. the more she tries to see the path ahead but cannot, the more afraid and anxious and disconnected she becomes.

suddenly, they walk into a clearing, where there is a circus -- complete with circus animals. the first person is delighted and relaxed and enjoys this bit of serendipity with all of her focus. the second person nearly collapses from exhaustion and relief that the tiger cannot eat her, she cannot focus herself enough to enjoy the show, and she immediately starts to worry about the next invisible 'threat' down the road.

"these scenes are of the same person, making two different choices. you can choose to live in the moment, enjoying what comes your way, or you can choose to be tense and anxious and fearful. it is completely up to you.

there is absolutely no sense in worrying about anything. you. can't. possibly. know. what to worry about."

this story, and millie's comment make me think of something I heard on the news the other night. a woman was crushed by a rock falling on the car she was in. her friend was driving her to work, and was unscathed. the news story reported that the woman who was crushed had stopped driving herself anywhere because she was afraid something would happen to her. turns out, if she had driven herself, she would not have been crushed by that rock.

"trying to climb up for a better view, stretching yourself tighter and tighter in order to attempt to control the future is a waste of energy. it is also exhausting. for you and probably for those around you.

relax into your space, luxuriate in your life -- that is how you are meant to live. identify that feeling -- your particular feeling of you trying to be in control -- know it so you recognize it when it comes, so you can avoid it and remind yourself to relax and enjoy the flow.

let go and experience life. it's all any of us can really do. our ability to direct our lives is internal, not external. we can create our world, we can remember why we came. we can remember how to live in love."

thank you, millie.

your inner child

2010-03-21T13:43:00.000-06:00

millie shows me two kids in a sailboat. it feels free and fun and light and happy. as I watch, my adult brain says danger. there are no grownups with those kids, no one to protect them. the boat is small and the wind is brisk and the sea is large, those kids aren't safe.

"kids have the right sense of adventure for life. you can *do* anything, *be* anything you want. there are no limits. and it is fun, kids understand fun. they don't worry about the danger, the 'what ifs', the safety factor, it doesn't cross their minds.

remember when 'what would happen if....?' was not a scary question, but one fraught with possibility? treat life as the game it is. let go of the responsibility for making everything work out. you can't. life just is.

find that kid inside of you. seek her out if she is hiding. lure him out with crayons and finger paint. reconnect. remember. the child inside you has a great deal of wisdom about how to move through the world. ask your inner child for advice. listen to the answers."

walls

2010-03-17T18:14:00.000-06:00

millie shows me a human figure with their nose right up against a very tall brick wall that seems to go on forever to each side.

"you create your walls. you make them big and strong because you believe in them. they look big and solid up close, but they are energetic walls, not physical ones."

the view changes, as the human begins to float a little, the wall becomes smaller and more transparent. the human floats above the wall and looks down on a maze of similar wall segments.

"the more you flow, the smaller the walls get. you can make them disappear completely. don't believe in them. live your life in joy, moment to moment. the walls will dissolve.

stop worrying about the future. call your energy back to the present moment -- how do you feel right now? focus on what makes you feel good. each moment is infinite and full of possibility.

staying in the moment helps with the flow, helps you stay out of fear, helps you connect with joy."

now she shows me a cobblestone street. directly around me, inside my personal space, the stones are precious gems.

"only by staying in the moment will you see the gems, the gifts your life has for you. slow down. look around. don't just notice it, let it in. remove your focus from your busy life, your worries. be present in the moment and feel your gifts. treasure them."

I stopped getting new information, but millie didn't leave my lap like she usually does when I've 'got it.' so I asked, am I missing a key piece?

"you're not *doing* it."

ah. true, I was not. thinking about living in the moment is not the same thing as actually doing it. I managed a few seconds of truly living in the moment, and then I had to go home and feed the dogs. give it a try, it's as hard as you make it for yourself, to quote a furry friend of mine.

symphony of love

2010-03-16T11:25:00.000-06:00

there was more to millie's message yesterday than I was able to express. I asked her to explain it a different way today to see if I could expand on it. she showed me crystals in a honeycomb arrangement, nearly touching but not quite, and with an undefinable substance flowing between them.

"the crystals are individual humans. the substance flowing between the crystals is the love field, the life force, the "stuff" that we all exist in that connects us all.

crystals are a good example because they can hold a vibration. so can you. if you vibrate singly, it can be beautiful but disorganized when looked at as a whole. if everyone is vibrating on their own frequency, some vibrations will cancel others out and the overall effect is a little noisy.

if you vibrate together, it is a symphony."

in the past you have told us to vibrate at our own particular vibration, to vibrate at 'me.'

"yes. in that context I said it is better not to try to lower your vibration to match that of others. now I am suggesting that you direct your own *individual* vibration toward a common goal. like an orchestra... right now humans sound like an orchestra that is tuning up, not yet playing together. it is noisy and chaotic. each individual instrument makes a beautiful sound, but together all you are producing is noise.

I am suggesting that you begin to participate in the symphony as a group."

how do we do that?

"intend it. vibrate at love. let it flow through and around you, filling the space between you and the next. as more of you vibrate at love, in harmony, it will become easier for the rest."

thank you, millie.

who am I?

2010-03-15T18:31:00.000-06:00

"every being, in or out of body, is the perfect expression of itself. you are the answer to the question that only you being you can answer. you are the solution to the puzzle of you. you are the key to the lock that only your key can open. only you can fit perfectly into your place in the everything."

millie shows me fish swimming.

"fish move through their world with ease, as perfect fish. water is life-force, part of the everything that we all move through, it's just easier to see as water. where the water touches the fish, the place where the water and the fish meet, is an intersection.

where you intersect with all of creation -- physically, mentally, energetically -- that space is magical. bring your focus to that space, not totally inward, not totally outside of yourself, but where you meet with everything else. that is a sacred place. a place of infinite possibility. all of the answers to the question that is you, happen in that space. feel the oneness that we are all a part of, then feel the tiny speck that you are in the everythingness."

a human teacher of mine calls this space that you are talking about the 'crossroads.'

"it goes by many names. recognize it by its electric feeling, by the way you can be all at once an atom and the entire universe, shrinking and expanding at the same time. that feeling means you have found the space."

what do we do when we find it?

"just be. feel the love that you are, that is everything. connect."

thank you, millie.

perspective shift

2010-03-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

I ask, what's the topic today, millie?

picture a beautiful scene, like the dawn of the morning after a huge storm, the seas are still rough and dark and the sky is beginning to lighten. the clouds are a deep purple against rosy-peach sky. then the scene starts to shrink, like it is moving away or you are moving backwards. as it shrinks, the edge of the scene appears and it has a border, like a thin frame. the storm-aftermath scene grows smaller and smaller until it is no longer visible in the distance.

as it shrinks, your awareness of your surroundings grows. you are sitting on a beautiful white sand beach, with crystal blue gently waving water and warm sunshine. a gentle breeze tickles your face.

"the storms you experience are a matter of your perspective. you choose to stay in the frame and engage with the storm, or you choose to move beyond the frame and the storm becomes a tiny speck in the everythingness around you.

frames are made up of beliefs and fears that keep you thinking a certain way. you need to release your fears or reexamine your beliefs in order to step through the frame, to step out of the picture you are stuck in.

examine your fears and closely held beliefs. are they keeping you in a frame? there are many different frames in your life. are there any you are ready to let go of?"

thank you, millie.

thought energy

2010-03-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

millie shows me a clumsy caveman type tool, it looks like a rock tied to a stick. then she shifts the scene to a beautiful painting. the art is alive, three dimensional, moving. the artists are humans with faeries flitting about and other luminous beings.

"humans have evolved in their ability to create their world. at first there was a lot of violence inherent in the process, violence done to you and violence done by you. your tools have evolved as your awareness and understanding has changed. you have moved from stone hammers to paint brushes. from knives to pens. from physical violence to verbal and mental violence, and beyond.

you continue to evolve, and the next step is to increase your awareness of the energy of your thoughts. thoughts *are* energy. they count.

you tend to automatically follow the dark threads in your thoughts, you focus on them out of habit. increase your awareness of light and shadow. be aware when you start to follow dark thought-threads. you can stop yourself. the more you practice, the more aware you become, the more quickly you can stop yourself from following a dark thread.

look for light threads. follow those instead. focus on what makes you happy. think about what makes you feel good. where your thoughts are focused, that is what will increase in your life. you will attract more of what you pay attention to.

look for the light, it will come."

thank you, millie

love each other

2010-03-09T19:03:00.001-07:00

millie shows me a steel bear trap around a human heart. the trap is made up of fear. then she shows me a heart beating inside a locked wooden box (a la pirates of the caribbean). that picture represents taking no risks, no chances, giving yourself no opportunity to be hurt. but that also limits your opportunities to love and be loved.

"emotional pain is a picture you paint for yourself. it is mainly about fear of pain, not the actual pain itself. the fear is the thing you work so hard to avoid.

look at the fear. name it. trying to protect yourself from what you fear can push you into it. if you are afraid of being alone, for instance, your efforts to hang on to someone may push them away, leaving you alone. or you may push them away yourself, in the weird-human-logic way that you have -- 'if I cause the pain myself, it won't be so bad.'

look at the fear, get to know it, so it doesn't motivate you. or if it does motivate you at least you are aware.

humans are meant to dance together in a joyous, exuberant dance. not a few. all of you. dance in lightness and love.

look at everyone through love-colored glasses. look past their behavior, look into their souls. love them."

thank you, millie.

your path

2010-03-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

millie shows me a path that drops suddenly down a very steep slope. the part on the ground turns into a slide. there is also a zip line that follows the path, that would put you on the same path where the slide ends. both choices involve a leap of faith. either you slide straight down a steep incline, not knowing where you will end up, or you attach yourself to a zip line and jump, not knowing where you will end up.

"the way you know *your* path from every other path is excitement, enthusiasm and ease. it can be a leap of faith, it can be a little scary, but it is never an uphill battle. it is never defeating or difficult. it is always exhilarating."

I think of my experience in graduate school... what a huge uphill climb that was. full of my own pictures of a successful life, full of 'shoulds.'

"your true path unfolds before you as you go. it can be scary, but it does not involve effort. it does not have to be hard to be worthwhile. managing your fear is the hardest part.

you have a lot of wisdom. give yourself permission to access it. you are complete. don't look outside yourself for answers. don't give others more credit that you give yourself. your personal power is unequalled. it is all you need. no one has more knowledge about *you* and *your path* than you.

if you are in the flow, you cannot *not* follow your path -- it is inevitable. whatever path you take will turn into your path, there is no way to screw this up.

love you. love is all you need."

again with the beatles music. =)

thank you, millie.

edge of existence

2010-03-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

millie shows me a small cottage on a cliff by the sea. I am viewing it from a distance, it is attractive and very isolated. the wind is blowing the clouds across the sky, huge waves are pounding the cliffside.

"humans feel very alone, an island unto yourselves. from your perspective, inside your head, you have a tremendous amount of space around you, between you and others. this is natural, it is part of the human condition."

she then shows me what looks like outlines of human forms all jiggling together in a giant bowl of jello.

"you exist as an island, and you also exist as a connected whole. everyone is a part of the energy field, every thought, every tiny movement is felt by all. both of these are true. this is the dichotomy of life."

the picture zooms in on the intersection between one of the human forms and the jello. she sends me a zingy, crackly feeling that is happening along the intersection between the personal bubble and everything else. it feels like pop rocks candy in your mouth, little tiny explosions happening all over.

"this is the hot zone. the place where 'I' meets 'we' is the edge of existence, this is where we feel alive, this intersection has the most opportunity for learning and growth.

focus on that intersection, that interaction. fill the space with love. love for yourself, love for others. this will help you create your world full of love."

thank you, millie.

the inner you

2010-03-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

millie shows me an artichoke. it is not quite ripe, very green, with sharp, pointy leaves. she shows it cooking in water and ending up soft and yummy in the middle.

"you are covered with scales and pointy protections, just like an artichoke. the real you is the soft yummy center. that is your heart-centered self.

you can split that outer layer of self-created shell and just walk away. you can walk your path naked and heart-centered, giving others permission to do the same. you can be your true self, all the time, with no hard edges. you are all headed in that direction, follow your inner guidance, wherever that may lead you. even if it seems to be leading you in circles, or over ground you have already covered, trust it. follow it."

it would be nice if we could just get there already, I say with some impatience.

she shows me a speedboat, zooming over the water in a haphazard pattern.

"your pace is not your vibration. increasing your pace will not increase your vibration. zipping around like mad will not give you the answers you seek, it will just make you frantic. it is difficult to get in touch with yourself and the world around you if you are frantic."

I don't know how to walk in the world without my covering, without my protection. I don't know how to be that person.

"it can take an artichoke some time to be fully cooked."

she sends me the beatle's song 'all you need is love,' -- it is coming through on an old wooden radio, and I have to continually adjust the dial a little bit to get the song to come in strong and clear.

"give yourself permission, give yourself time. live in the moment. enjoy your process. you will know when you are ready."

does wanting it count for anything?

"absolutely."

thank you, millie.

personal power

2010-03-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

"within you lives a warrior, a sage and a child. these three parts of you need to be in balance in order for you to fully access your personal power. the energy must flow equally to and from all three.

the warrior is your protector, your shield. if too much energy goes to the warrior, you will be too adversarial, you will be cut off from your wisdom and your ability to learn new things.

the sage is your center of wisdom. if too much energy goes to the sage, you will be disconnected from reality, living too much in an esoteric world of your own creation. you will be living somewhere outside of yourself, and thus will find it very difficult to integrate.

the child is your learner, your center of discovery and play. your child helps you be flexible and adapt to change. if too much energy goes to the child you will relinquish personal authority and be too inclined to rely on what others say. you will not have enough access to your personal wisdom and power."

millie shows me a warrior, sage and child sitting in a circle around a glowing blue orb. the energy flow is visible, and is swirling around all three figures equally.

"ideally, the flow of energy is balanced, touching each equally, and each is contributing equally to the energy flow. the more balanced the flow, the more connected you are to yourself and the more you feel your personal power.

the glowing blue orb in the center is where synergy happens, that is your true essence.

if too much energy is flowing to or from one or two of these aspects of yourself, you will become unbalanced and the energy gets heavy and tilts to one side, causing even more unbalance.

if you are feeling unbalanced, call a meeting. have your warrior, your sage and your child sit down in a circle and focus on the swirling energy. focus on getting it to swirl evenly and on getting the blue orb to glow and float, effortlessly.

practice drawing on all three aspects, have them speak as one. they are you. you are all.

if you are hesitant about how to say something, close your eyes for a moment and touch the orb, connect with your wisdom.

picture all of this occurring inside of you, not separate from you."

thank you, millie.

sunlight & shadow

2010-03-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted to hear more about how to integrate my dark and my light -- how to accept all parts of me.

millie showed me a human figure walking in the sunlight. when the human figure was turned away from its shadow, the shadow was huge and looming and threatening. it was shaped like a monster. when the human turned to face its shadow, the shadow instantly shrank to the size and shape of a mouse. the figure picked up its mouse shadow and held it gently.

"you are already integrated. the difficulty you cause yourself is by denying or hiding or rejecting your dark. to judge yourself for having experienced the dark, the lower vibrations, is like judging yourself for having a shadow in the sunshine, it makes no sense at all. your experience with the dark gives you contrast, it makes you fully who you are. it gives you depth. treasure that. treasure you. and know that when you turn to face your shadow it is going to be much easier than you expect.

THERE. IS. NO. JUDGMENT. OUTSIDE. OF. YOUR. HEAD."

millie wants this to be clear.

"no independent tribunal. no judgment day. only you. you and the vibration you hold and your preference about that."

so why do I feel I need to forgive myself for dabbling in the dark?

"because you still believe in judgment. it is still a part of your psyche."

I understand what you are saying, intellectually. but judgment has a very tight grip on me. as do right and wrong, good and bad.

"just practice thinking outside that paradigm. practice using ideas that are unfamiliar. it will loosen judgment's grip if you step away from those beliefs occasionally."

so, my darker marshmallows are just squished in with my lighter ones, giving my experience its own particular color?

"exactly."

so what now? besides trying out new ideas, I mean.

"you must love yourself. all of you. embrace the whole you, light and dark together. vibrate at you. love your vibration."

okay. thank you, millie.

good & bad

2010-02-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

I asked millie about right and wrong, bad and good. I am having a hard time accepting that they do not exist.

"bad and good are judgments. they are not based on what exists, but on what you are *taught* about what exists."

but abandoning all judgment is counter to our evolutionary path. judgment is what kept us alive, judging whether that person or animal is dangerous was key to survival, still is, in many cases.

"this is a vocabulary exercise. when you assess whether someone or something is dangerous to your survival, that is different from judging that someone or something to be bad. these are two separate ideas, the dangerousness of a thing and it's relative 'badness.' humans frequently take the shortcut and just lump the two together. and the 'badness' of a thing is something you made up. it doesn't exist.

there is no good or bad. there is no right or wrong. there is only dark and light. and then there are your preferences about the two. do not confuse your preference for a thing for its 'rightness.' it is just a preference.

humans are really hung up on the whole right and wrong thing. let it go. let go of the judgment."

abandoning judgments of everyone, including ourselves, seems god-like.

"yes."

is that too much to expect from ourselves?

"no. judgment is a habit, deeply ingrained through many lifetimes. it was taught. but you can let go of old habits and the fear that keeps you in them."

it's pretty simple, isn't it, what you are teaching? vibrate at me, allow others to do the same, and live in love.

"yes."

the concept is simple, but implementation...

"is as hard as you make it for yourself."

ah.

are there others like you on the planet?

"yes."

are they all animals?

"not all. but those who choose to come as animals are here to help you more directly as you learn to raise your vibration."

if there is no good or bad, why are we raising the vibration of the planet?

"to see if we can. we have a preference. this planet is of the light. this planet is love. it is time."

marshmallows

2010-02-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

I asked millie yesterday how she knows all of this stuff. she said she remembers it. I asked her *how* she remembers it. she sent me an image of marshmallows arranged in a spiral stair-step pattern, going down and also going up from where I was standing. I couldn't make any sense out of that answer at first, then we were interrupted and I had to wait until the end of the day to resume our conversation. finally, I asked her what the marshmallows represent. she sent me a picture of pearls strung together. I had a flash of understanding. the pearls represent lifetimes. then she took me back to the marshmallow image.

"each marshmallow is a distinct and complete lifetime, but they are all made of the same substance. if you squish them all together, it makes one homogenous thing. that thing is your experience as a spirit in body."

some of the marshmallows are darker, what does that mean?

"there is no wrong or right, there is only dark and light. higher and lower vibrations. we experiment with both. you gravitate toward your preference, but you only know your preference because you have experienced both. that is okay, that's how it works.

you must accept *all* of you, all of your experiences, the dark and the light. then you will have more access to all of your knowledge. your knowledge will be more accessible when you stop shutting out or denying the parts of you that are dark."

how many lifetimes did it take you to access all of your knowledge, once you accepted yourself?

"three."

how many will it take me?

"the planet is holding a higher vibration now -- it can be done immediately -- it is possible to do it now. give yourself permission to accept all that you are."

millie, do you know everything?

"I know everything that I have learned, in all of my lifetimes."

that's a lot.

"yes."

do you like being a cat?

"yes, I chose this."

why?

"there are fewer humans than other animals. being human offers the best opportunity for growth and change. I do not need that level of growth and change, so I left it for someone who needs it more."

so you are fine-tuning?

"yes."

wow.

thank you, millie. as always, I am in awe of you.

communication

2010-02-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

millie shows me a waterfall pouring over a many-layered step-like rocky outcropping. the steps, or layers, are not perfectly even like a stairway, but are more random in their spacing and their shapes.

"ease or difficulty in communication partly depends on how many layers, or levels, lie between you and the one you are communicating with. the number of levels that lie between you depends on many things, and can be different for different topics. humans are multi-layered, and you communicate on one level about some things and a completely different level about others.

communication is a type of flow -- that's what the water represents. in order for it to flow, you must let go of any attachment to the outcome, or the impact of your communication."

wait a minute, I thought some of the main purposes of communication were to have a certain impact, to convey certain information, to get someone to do what you want them to do? what about to be understood?

"it works much better if you do not expect. think of it like writing a book or a song. you put your intention into the words and then you release them to the world. it is not your choice how people read your book or hear your song. that choice is up to the reader and the listener.

it would seem silly for an author to demand that you respond to their words a certain way -- to assign them only one meaning, the meaning she assigned them. how you interpret written words is up to you, the audience, the receiver.

it is no different for spoken words. craft them carefully so that they hold your true intention. be honest with yourself about what your true intention is. then release them. your responsibility for the words ends when you release them. you are responsible for their creation and the energy you charge them with, but you cannot possibly know or dictate how they will be received.

if your words are an accurate representation of your true intention, they carry that energy with them. if someone misinterprets your words, or is not able to understand them, it could be that you are communicating across too many levels -- but that is not a problem with the words or the energy, it is a problem with the distance between the sender and the receiver for that topic. you can try again with different words, as long as they still truly and accurately describe your intention. sometimes that will work, sometimes not."

it seems to be a key issue whether your words are true and accurate and honest.

"yes."

what about white lies?

"some white lies are positive words covering up negative feelings. the words do not really cover the feelings. both the sender and the receiver know, on some level, that the feelings are negative. better to be silent in that situation."

what about a situation where the truth could really hurt (a friend asks if they look fat, for example, and they do)?

"in that situation, positive words are conveying positive feelings -- that you love your friend and don't want to hurt them. they aren't the exact truth, but your words and the underlying feelings match in a less exact way."

this seems to be a fairly strict standard of honesty.

"it is not possible to lie to another. on some level, they read the energy behind the words and the energy never lies."

wow. okay.

thank you, millie.

clear your space

2010-02-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

I came to the office in a funk today. nothing specific, just down and discouraged. I was already wondering how to shake myself out of it.

millie showed me a human holding an umbrella in a soft rain. there was a definite distinction between the atmosphere under the umbrella and the atmosphere outside of it.

"you are responsible for your space, for keeping it clear. your space is approximately the size of the clearing under an umbrella.

to clear your space, give your own true vibration a color. vibrate at that color for a moment, and then lighten it at least one shade. bring your vibration up a notch. think about vibrating at the new shade. intend that you continue to vibrate at the lighter shade. it doesn't require any effort, just intend.

use your tools. check to make sure you are grounded. visualize the heavy energy leaving your space. move it out with intention, without effort. and it always helps to have a cat on your lap to pet. we raise your vibration."

of course it worked. I am feeling much better now. I started with gray gloomy pictures of me under a black umbrella in a steady downpour on a cloudy day. I ended up with a spring shower, the kind where the sun is shining through the rain, standing on bright spring green grass with little baby ducklings waddling around. it was quite a shift.

and yes, millie was on my lap. =)

thank you, millie.

difficult people

2010-02-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

"difficult people are unhappy people. they give themselves no permission to be free, to flow, to be happy. they can't control their own lives, so many times they try to control the lives of others in order to gain control in their own. they don't realize that control is an illusion.

they carry a lot of victim energy, and don't realize that they are the only ones standing between themselves and lightness of being. they are constantly looking outward for someone or something to blame, never inward to accept responsibility for the life they are creating."

I ask her if she has any suggestions for dealing with difficult people. any ideas for letting them brush by without affecting us.

"stay out of judgment. allow them to walk their path. allow them to be who they are. avoid attracting that kind of energy to you by removing your attention and your focus. don't dwell on the behavior of others. use your tools -- stay centered, don't take on the vibration of others. vibrate at you.

if you can't say something nice, say nothing."

so mom was right. =)

thank you, millie.

lightness of being

2010-02-22T14:38:00.001-07:00

millie shows me colorful helium balloons and hot air balloons floating through the sky. I ask her why those things make me happy.

"they literally lift your spirit. they remind you of your natural state: free, light, floating, joyous"

she sends me a feeling like the giddy weightlessness at the top of the roller coaster, the free flying moment at the front and back of each arc of the swing on the swing set.

how do we achieve it?

"allow. release. it is a choice to hang on to heavy energy or to let it go. tie each of your worries or troubles to a balloon and let it float away. feel yourself getting lighter with each one gone.

pay attention to your vibration. practice changing it. practice raising your vibration. think of the giddiness you felt as a kid. match it. hold it for a moment, or longer if you can. it might be uncomfortable at first, it is unfamiliar to you now. keep practicing, it will get easier.

each of you is a master musician, you can play any song you choose. the more you practice the easier it gets.

seek out things that lift your spirits. colorful balloons. evergreen green against perfect sky blue. sunlight sparkling on snow. warm sandy beaches. don't go into effort, just accept what comes to you and *focus* on it, even for a moment. appreciate beauty all around you. live from that space.

this is your natural state. vibrate at peace and love and joy."

thank you, millie.

life, death, immortality

2010-02-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

"humans have a lot of scary pictures about death. know that those are just pictures. what you call death is just a transition, a way of moving between levels."

I couldn't exactly translate what millie sent me about what we move between. dimensions isn't right, levels isn't exactly right either, it's more like 'beingnesses' which I decided was too unwieldy, not to mention made up.

she shows me a river of light, and human forms getting into boats and traveling down the river of light until they disappear into a blinding white light that the river is flowing toward.

"life and death are both part of the flow. the flow is endless and circular. when you incarnate, you leave friends and loved ones behind in order to live in a body, to experience and learn the things that you can only learn while in body. when you leave each lifetime, you leave friends and loved ones behind so that you can transition out of your body.

the lessons you learn during each lifetime, each in-body experience, help to move you along on your path as a spirit. each lifetime changes us, helps us grow, and then we graduate to the next topic, phase, place on our path."

millie uses 'us' to mean all of us, animals and humans. she also says not every lifetime is for learning and growing. sometimes we just live. we don't have to have goals. there is no one keeping score.

"spend your time savoring life. squeeze every drop of juice from the fruit. stay present in the moment, do not worry about the future. the future does not exist. wild animals do not worry about 'not dying' they concentrate on 'staying alive.' focus on now. now is real.

children and animals understand that there is no end, only change. you learn your death pictures as you grow up in human society, and you agree to pick them up and carry them forward with you. children and animals generally do not come into the world with death pictures. they come in with the understanding that the you that is your spirit will never end, cannot be killed, will cycle through many lifetimes as the flow continues to move us all in the dance of life and death and life again.

we are all immortal, and each lifetime is a gift, a choice. enjoy your time here, learn your lessons or not, know that you will be back. set down your death pictures and enjoy the flow."

regression

2010-02-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

"infants and toddlers throw a tantrum when things don't go their way. this frustration and anger and helplessness that lead to violence - let's call it ogre energy - this ogre energy is an early attempt at getting your needs met. it worked ok then. it doesn't work too well now.

sometimes you regress when you experience a feeling that reminds you of ogre energy, particularly frustration. when you feel frustrated, especially when there is some self-blame going on, it is easy to slide into ogre energy. only now, when you feel ogre energy, you generally don't direct it outward, you direct it inward. you yell and scream at yourself, you are impatient and intolerant and not nice. you hit and kick and behave badly. you beat yourself up. and then you beat yourself up even more for allowing the internal tantrum, for being an ogre to yourself. it's a no-win.

it is not easy being human. you have so many habits - personal, social, as a species - that lead you to self-violence. I invite you to practice love, practice understanding, practice forgiveness. practice on *you.*

give yourself permission to learn and grow and make mistakes. permission to be human. permission to *be.*

when you feel frustrated, allow it. when you are angry, allow it. feel your feelings and then move on, don't punish yourself for them. be an ogre if you need to be. and then lighten up!"

walls

2010-02-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

"the walls that keep you safe keep you trapped. what keeps others out also keeps you in. humor at your own or others' expense is a wall. sarcasm is a wall. you have other tools to establish your boundaries.

live from your heart. let your love melt the walls. don't be afraid to reach out, don't be afraid to let others reach in. your common sense will not desert you. you will still be safe from harm, your space will be filled with love, and you will be free."

I am having a hard time thinking of what might remain funny if I can't laugh at myself and others.

"it's the quality of laughter that matters. don't be mean about it, don't invite others to ridicule you, don't ridicule yourself. laugh at everything, life is not serious, humans just tend to make it so. you will do things that make you laugh. you will make mistakes. laugh at them, enjoy your learning process. laugh with joy. laugh with love. laugh with, not at."

I'm getting sort of a naked feeling when I think about moving through life with no protective walls.

"that way of thinking is a habit. instead of viewing the walls as protective, think of them as restrictive, heavy, burdensome. because that is what they are, that is how they function. they keep you from connection, they impede flow. it's hard to float when you are wearing a heavy wall."

true. I can see that.

"you don't have to go cold turkey. experiment by dropping the walls with people you feel safe with. or just one person. find out for yourself that the world won't come rushing in to attack. your boundaries are secure, they are light and flexible and filled with love. they float with you in the flow."

thank you, millie.

celery song

2010-02-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

so, millie, what's the topic today?

"celery."

celery?

"yes."

the vegetable? (truly, I couldn't make this stuff up.)

"yes."

what about it?

"it grows in a nice, compact group. every stalk fits together. humans are like that. you grow best when surrounded by others who fit. you nurture and support one another, you aren't all the same, but you complement one another."

so we need to look for our bunch of celery?

"yes."

and then?

"grow, support each other, be synergistic, vibrate in harmony. your individual vibrations will combine to make a song. the music of the universe is made up of individual vibrations and groups of vibrations. the more you walk your path, the clearer your vibration becomes. sing your song. make your music."

thank you, millie.

lions & tigers & bears, oh my

2010-02-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

"lions and tigers and bears are real fears that you use as a shield, to keep you from looking into dark corners. but fear is a sign-post, a neon arrow, pointing you to the places that need the light the most.

your own lions and tigers and bears could be anything. they could be about anything. it doesn't matter what they are about. you can dig them up and examine them and possibly even understand them, and yet still feel them, still let them affect you.

get rid of your fears by ceasing to acknowledge them, remove your focus, remove your energy.

intend, as you are creating your world with each forward step into what-is-yet-to-be, that your world is without fear. do it, not by thinking of them, but by *not* thinking of them. you are complete and whole, and totally without fear. there is no room for lions and tigers and bears in your world. create them out of existence by ceasing to think about them.

sometimes it is not a weakness you fear, sometimes it is a strength. you are powerful, there is no need for you to fear yourself. embrace your strength. step into your power. don't judge yourself for having lions and tigers and bears, they served a purpose.

have fun, be light, be easy on yourself. always interact through love, with yourself, with everyone."

thank you, millie.

co-creating

2010-02-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

"as powerful as you are alone, you are infinitely more powerful as a group. when you co-create, you can change the world."

millie shows me a scene similar to the one on the beach, only this time there is a line of people walking hand-in-hand, along parallel paths, and each step brings them to the edge of creation -- the boundary between this moment and infinity -- each step is creation itself. they are co-creating their world.

"this is very powerful. when you walk together in love, intending to manifest together, incredible things happen."

I've seen 'the secret' and 'what the bleep,' and I have been thinking about the law of attraction as a sort of abstract and future-oriented idea. by that I mean I believe I am creating my world, but it has always seemed to me that I was creating my future. millie says we are creating our *now.*

"find your group, your community, your tribe. walk together in love, intending healing for yourselves and for the planet. create beauty and wonder and magic everywhere you look. be in bliss. be in ease. be in love."

thank you, millie.

believe in yourself

2010-02-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

"you can create for yourself anything you need. you are capable of climbing to unimaginable heights and pulling the answers to your needs from thin air. the only thing missing is your belief in yourself. anything is possible! there are NO LIMITS.

self-doubt is heavy, limiting, stifling -- it is like a cage and you are trapped inside. self-doubt keeps you prisoner. it keeps you from flying, it keeps you from being the truly magical person you are. self-doubt is a very heavy, dark energy. it is crushing you, keeping you down.

the thing about self-doubt is *you* are the key to getting out of your cage. you can unlock it and walk free at any time. the only thing keeping you in the cage is you. in fact, the cage doesn't really exist. you made it up. but its effect on you is very real. don't mistake the real-ness of the effects of self-doubt as proof of the reality for the doubt itself. just because the non-existent cage keeps you from flying, from doing anything and everything you have ever dreamed -- just because the cage *acts* like a cage -- doesn't make it real. it is not real. it is imaginary.

give up your imaginary prison of self-doubt. walk away. fly away. be free to be who you really are."

I am tracking you, mil, but *how* exactly do we unlock our cages? if it were easy, I'm guessing everyone would have done it already.

"as with most things that are created in your mind, this requires a shift in perspective. you must slide your mind slightly to the side and look at this with new eyes."

that is the literal translation of what she sent me. but I need more help, so I asked her

how do we shift our perspective?

"go to the fountain inside of you that is your mind's eye, your godhead, the source of your magic. ask your inner oracle what is possible. everything is possible. your inner oracle knows. and you must believe."

and that will help us shift our perspective?

"you cannot meet your true essence and not be changed. the act of journeying inward and seeing the magic and beauty that is you will shift you."

I did as millie suggested. I have no idea what effect it had on my level of self-doubt, but I can say it was amazing and I do feel different, lighter somehow.

thank you, millie.

"you are welcome."

did we get it all?

"ride the wave."

she sends me an amazing, peaceful vision of floating on the crest of a blue wave. when I ask her what the wave is, she says

"that is your flow. relax. enjoy."

the wave carries me gently along and sets me down on a beautiful beach.

"you are outside of the cages of your own making. you are on the shore of endless possibility. move forward and create your world."

as I step forward onto the beach, the hazy, swirly light in front of me becomes solid ground, each step solidifies another part of the ground. I walk forward and realize that I am *creating* this as I go. I visualize things and they appear. it is effortless and instant. it feels like a daydream or a meditation. I am always walking at the very edge of what's real (behind me, underneath me, beside me) and what is yet-to-be. I really enjoyed this daydream, so I walked along creating things for a while, and then I wondered

what is this a metaphor for?

"this is your life. this is how it works. you have unlimited creative potential, and you *create* your life. it isn't a metaphor. this is it."

holy shit.

she hops off my lap. we are done. I have got it.

attachment

2010-02-12T10:27:00.001-07:00

"your attachment to certain things, certain pathways, certain outcomes, causes pain. it impedes your flow."

millie shows me people floating in a river. some are floating along with the current, but most have their hands stuck to something on the bank -- a house, a car, another person, or something more abstract. as the current pulls against them, their arms stretch out like a cartoon. it looks funny, but it isn't. it is painful to be pulled that way. eventually the substance (stubbornness?) that sticks them to the things on the bank will fail, but it won't part gently, it will rip, leaving chunks of them behind with the thing they were hanging on to.

"the universe will give you what you need, but not necessarily what you THINK you need. if you learn to let go, to go with the flow, life becomes easier, more joyful, less painful. life *is* flow.

let go. trust that you will float. let go of the need for control. trust that you will have what you need. let go of the attachment to specific things, ways to accomplish things, outcomes. trust. it is better to let go voluntarily than to find out the hard way just how strong this current is."

what about planning for the future? isn't that important?

"as long as your future plans are fluid, able to adapt to and change with any change in the flow, future planning is a good thing. it is only when the construction of those plans and dreams becomes rigid and inflexible that they pose a danger."

any advice for us on that?

"hold everything loosely. your possessions, your loved ones, your dreams. hold them as if they were baby birds that could be crushed with too much pressure. hold them as though you are ready to let them go."

thank you, millie.

love yourself

2010-02-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but my response to millie's messages has been two-fold. first, wow, what an amazing being she is, with such valuable information to share and how true it feels when I hear it. and second, wow, what a horrible person I am, full of failings and shortcomings that she highlights almost daily.

"push your envelope. reach for more, be willing to examine your deepest, darkest places and shine your light into them. but the music that carries my lyrics, the ever-present meta-message to my communications, is LOVE YOURSELF.

love is the answer. love is the key. love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love .

in order to do this work, in order to fully express who you are, you must be kind and gentle and respectful and reverent with you. you must love yourself so that you can show others how to love."

I can tell you that millie delivers her messages with love, in love, with no trace of judgment or hint of impatience. she embodies love.

thank you millie, we love you.

conflict

2010-02-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

"conflict is a habit. in many cases you can avoid it by deconstructing your own position. chances are good that your position contains a variety of judgments. 'they should do this.' 'they shouldn't have done that.' 'if they had/hadn't [fill in the blank] then this wouldn't have happened.'

the problem with conflict is it blinds you to the connection, the love, the common purpose.

conflict is harder to avoid when you are reacting in the moment, but it is possible. take time, look inside yourself. how much of the conflict is yours alone? if you did not carry that conflict forward, if you did not provide it with a safe and comfortable place to rest, would it go away?

sometimes the answer is no. sometimes the safe and comfortable place lies with the other person. but you can let go of your part. you can give it less of a foothold. you can release your negative feelings and absolve yourself of any responsibility for maintaining the conflict.

what would happen in the world if you stopped responding when someone hands you a conflict? if you refused to play your part?"

millie sent me this message as I was in the midst of dealing with my own unpleasant feelings about what someone did not do that I considered to be their responsibility, in fact I pay them to do it. I am not proud to report that my anger over the situation was completely my responsibility. true, they were supposed to do it. true, they didn't. but I exaggerated the negative effect of their failure to do it, in order to fuel my anger, to provide my feelings of conflict a 'safe, comfortable' place to sit. I am right about the facts, but my choices around that (being angry and sending negative energy to others) can't be construed as 'right.'

"right does not matter. humans are so caught up in who is 'right.' right is relative to the situation, not an abstract or absolute truth."

so our legal system has it all wrong, huh?

"there is no absolute 'right' that can be applied from outside a particular situation or interaction between people. the 'right' for that situation or interaction is dependent on the people involved. on the energy involved.

if someone agreed to do something and they are not doing it, why aren't they doing it? is it possible for them to do it? do they want to do it? if they are abandoning a promise or agreement, there is always a reason. your judgment of the 'rightness' of their reason is what causes the conflict. or your disregard of the possibility that they may have a reason at all.

every interaction is a gift. every interaction is a relationship. rather than looking for ways to make another wrong, look for *your* gift in the situation. how will this help you on your soul path? what is your lesson?"

thank you, millie.

body & soul

2010-02-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

"aspiring to true and authentic life does not mean that you leave your body behind in pursuit of the spirit. the body is of the earth and connected to the physical. honor the body, including the emotions, reactions and physical needs that come with having a body.

many humans right now are focusing exclusively on the spirit, to the exclusion of their physical selves and their health and wellbeing. as spirit in body, you will reach the highest harmony with yourself if you honor the physical as well as the spiritual. balance between the two can be achieved by focusing your attention on the balance point.

you will be spirit-only again. there is no hurry. you can accomplish things in-body that cannot be done as spirit-only. savor this experience. treasure it. enjoy the love, the joy and the giddiness as you honor the anger, the frustration and the sadness. these in-body experiences serve you. you need them.

connect with the earth through your physical form. honor the physical all around you. invite spirit to join you here, in your body, on the earth. embrace the duality that is your unique form at this time in this place. enjoy."

thank you, millie.

your authentic self

2010-02-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

hi mil, what's the topic for today?

"mindfullness. awareness. living your authentic life as your authentic self."

millie shows me a parade of human figures walking single-file, holding balloons that float above their heads. the balloons are also human-shaped. the walking figures seem heavy, empty, robotic. the balloons are lighter than air, with painted smiles, but also seem empty.

"you are afraid to fully inhabit your body, your life. many of you are simply skimming the surface of your life, afraid of the puzzle that is you, that you have come here to solve."

I have a strong sense that, while we normally trudge slowly up the steep steep slope of self-enlightenment, millie is here to build us a stairway.

"an escalator, if you let me." (said with no trace of ego)

"you resist fully inhabiting yourself for the same reason you don't clean out the garage, or the basement, or the attic. it looks like hard work. it's a little dark and scary. you might find something that upsets you. you don't know how to start. you aren't sure what to do with all that stuff.

it will be easier than you think. when you hold your soul 'stuff' up to the light, it transforms. you don't need to decide whether to keep it, toss it, give it away -- it's yours. you don't need to re-box it and re-store it, it has changed into something much lighter, something that helps you rather than weighing you down. it becomes an asset. a treasure.

the best thing you can do for yourself is look at your 'stuff.' make room for you inside your life. transform the dark corners into livable space. climb into your body and engage with life. move through your life with purpose and intention. really feel what it's like to be you. you are beautiful and wonderful and cool. treat yourself, and every other being on the planet, with reverence and love."

yowza, millie. if you're not careful, people are going to start making little gold figurines of you and praying to them!

raise your vibration

2010-02-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

today's message is closely related to the love message. it had the same kind of tenor to it, I believe millie is trying to clarify and expand on the information.

she shows me a vivid picture of a human with slots in their shoulders, and hanging from the slots are VERY heavy boxes of all sizes, each with a custom metal holder that fits precisely into the slots on the shoulders.

this is a complex message about our baggage. we have widely varied and customized baggage. each of us carries our own particular brand/ style/ type/ amount of baggage, and *we* are the ones who customize it. we choose it carefully and we make sure that it is exactly *our* kind of baggage, the kind that fits into our particular slots. and man-o-man is it ever heavy.

she shows me the human divesting themselves of the many, many boxes and containers. the human is becoming lighter and lighter, almost floating when the baggage has all been set down. that seems fairly straightforward.

"set down your baggage! you don't need it. you don't need to examine it, you don't even need to know what it is, just set it down and walk away.

raise your vibration, let the heavy stuff go. filter everything through love goggles, through fun glasses. *look* for laughter! feel how that changes your vibration. it is possible to do this all the time. it just takes practice.

what makes you happy? it is individual. what is fun for me (hunting small furry animals and laying in the sun) may not be fun for you. find your own happiness.

humans usually look at the dark side of things and match their vibration to it. you are trained to do that. it feels right because it is so habitual. deeply ingrained.

as you become more aware, as you begin to hear your spirit, it doesn't feel good to lower your vibration. it makes you uncomfortable. you don't have to do it, just because you always have. you don't have to do it because the ones you love do it.

even though there is sadness and strife in the world, you don't have to match it to care about it. you can maintain your vibration, which ultimately will be healing for the world.

vibrate at *you.* vibrate at fun and laughter and enthusiasm and love. share your vibration with the world. let it encourage others to do the same.

heal yourself, heal the world."

love, part 2

2010-02-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

when I walked in the clinic today, millie was sitting in a sun spot on my desk, waiting.

"you are doing great. you understand this better than you think. relax into this feeling."

when I feel I am not 'getting' it, I tend to freeze up. it's one of my things. millie lay down in the sun on my desk and waited for me to un-clench. we sat in silence until my thoughts wandered to how nice the sun felt on my arm. then she spoke

"that is the feeling. without the physical warmth, of course, but feel the energy, the vibration of the sun. it is everywhere, in the air, in your body, in my body. you don't have to search for it, it is just there. that's how the love field is."

millie moved to the window, which always gives me some hope that I may be close to 'getting' it. I am making this harder for myself than it needs to be. as I sat here in the sunshine, I wondered, what is the difference between sunshine and love?

"you do not have to 'deserve' sunshine, you just accept that it is there, equally and everywhere, for everyone. you enjoy it, you use it, you might take it for granted, but you are always aware of its presence. love is the same. you don't need to deserve it, it just is.

enjoy the love, just as you do the sunshine. stretch out in it, revel in it, soak it up. it is there for you, for everyone. there is no need to earn it, no need to worry, no sense in wondering whether you deserve it. just enjoy it, feel it just by turning your thoughts to it. it is freely available everywhere, to everyone.

for now, practice thinking of the sunshine as love. experiment with the idea that you don't have to do anything or be anything to be worthy of all the love in the universe.

breathe it in, soak it up."

thanks, millie.

love

2010-02-05T12:45:00.003-07:00

wow. this was the most difficult topic for me so far, because it ran up against some of *my* stuff. it really is a simple concept, it was just hard for me personally. so, here's what I've learned from millie in the past two days.

"there is a love field that pervades and permeates the earth and the space around it. this love field is always available to you if you reach out and touch it with your mind or heart. the connection is more direct if you reach out with your heart, but sometimes it is easier to start with your mind, not so overwhelming."

millie showed me the two of us as two threads in an infinite blanket, connected to each other and to everyone else, out to infinity. she had me zoom out to see the whole picture, and this blanket of love is everywhere. 'love field' is the best I could do to describe what she sends me when she is addressing this topic.

"the love field is the connection between all things. animals live in fairly close contact with and awareness of the love field. humans experience the love field through their animals. that is why it feels so good, so right, to love and be loved by an animal. it puts you in direct contact with all the love in the universe.

this is our gift. this is our job, our function, to keep you connected until you rediscover how to connect yourself.

that isn't exactly right, you don't need to connect, you already are connected. it takes but a tiny shift in your awareness to realize the everythingness of the love field."

as I mentioned, it took me two days to 'get' this message from millie. there was a lot of back and forth from the desk to the window, and a lot of laying on my chest. at this point, I was trying to jot down some notes about what I thought I understood about what she was sending me. she lay down on my notepad and told me

"just feel it. just feel it."

so I sat. we sat together. still not clear, so she continued

"this field is the fabric of life, and more. it is energy. it is vibration. it is connection. it is the 'one' we are all a part of.

bringing your awareness to it will expand your consciousness. it will bring the infinite to the now. it is not a thing you need to search for. it is not a place you need to find. it is in you, it is everywhere."

I asked her how to access this feeling, this field.

"think of the love you have with your animals, so natural, so automatic. climb inside of that love. become it. be it. you are there. your awareness expands from the animal to the universe of love. there is no difference, no demarcation, no distinction, it just continues on."

at this point, I had spent the better part of the day not-quite-getting the substance of millie's message. I was tired and discouraged, but one more piece came through.

"much of the time, when you think of 'love' in relation to another, you are thinking of that emotion as applied to your *idea* of them. the normal human definition of love is small and incomplete. love is much larger than you realize. and you are immersed in it. completely. constantly."

.....to be continued....

feedback

2010-02-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

a friend wrote to me about her experience with millie's advice. she had something upsetting happen to her, and she kept repeating her new mantra about not giving the situation any more energy. but it took a lot of her energy to focus on not giving the situation any of her energy, and it backfired because by doing that she was actually giving it *more* energy.

then she made herself go outside and focus on finding something pretty to enjoy, and that worked!

she learned that focusing on not focusing on bad things didn't work for her, she simply needs to focus instead on something good. it was, in her words, "a complete head shift."

and that's what millie meant. =)

what makes *your* soul dance?

reception & broadcasting

2010-02-04T16:35:00.002-07:00

"humans are designed to be excellent receptors."

millie shows me something that feels like an antenna, but is shaped like a vessel, and is made of gold, which translates to high quality.

"you all do it, you just don't do it consciously. remember the 'vibe' you got from that waiter who seemed perfectly friendly on the surface, but you just knew somehow they were irritated? that's reception. what about the many times your phone has rung and you knew who was calling before you looked? that's reception. the gut feeling you have about someone when you meet them? reception. everyone does it, animals and humans. the time your normally friendly dog barked at the delivery guy? reception.

*trust* it. it has always worked for you, whether you were aware of it or not. becoming more aware will help to guide you. be conscious of that little voice in your head, that feeling in your gut, it will not lie to you."

I asked millie if this was in response to my friend's question about animal communication, or about my own thoughts when she talked about evil people yesterday. she said

"both."

so, if we aren't meant to interact with disturbed or evil people, this will help us to know to avoid them?

"exactly."

what about broadcasting?

"humans are also excellent broadcasters. you are very loud, in fact. all of us, animals and people alike, are constantly broadcasting our energy signature -- it's like an energetic fingerprint, very distinctive -- that is what we 'read' when we receive information about someone.

humans also loudly broadcast their thoughts and emotions. that is why it is somewhat difficult for you to hear the animals. we are not so loud. to hear us, you must quiet yourself first."

this takes practice, I'm guessing.

"yes. but you can all learn to do it."

she walked away. I think I've got it. thank you, mil.

judgment

2010-02-04T11:48:00.000-07:00

"judgment is also based in expectation, in a certain picture of how things should be, how people should act. when you let go of expectation, you let go of judgment.

everyone is walking their path, doing their thing, being themselves, just like you are. let them. you are all here with different life plans, different lessons - give each other the space to learn them.

the actions of others are generally not personal to you unless you make them so. you can choose not to make them so. your own actions are generally motivated by your internal structure - the way you move through your life, meeting your needs as well as you can. others are doing the same.

there are humans on the planet who are chronically unpleasant, or troubled, or evil. that has to do with the lessons they are here to learn, with the soul contracts they have made in order to move through their experience here according to their higher plan. most of them have no contract or agreement with you, and their effect on your life is fleeting and superficial. let it be fleeting. let it be superficial.

don't internalize the unpleasantness of others. that is their path."

I flinched about the word 'evil.' millie says that part of free will is the ability to choose dark over light. and some do. and that is okay.

"everything is possible, all the time. we have all experimented with dark and light. that is how we know our preference."

clarification

2010-02-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

the ideas and feelings come from millie. the words (most of them) are my interpretation, my attempt to explain what she sends me. she's pretty good about letting me know when my words don't match her ideas.

is this for real?

2010-02-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

someone asked me yesterday if I was sure 'this stuff' was coming from millie, how did I know it wasn't coming from me. it's hard to explain how I know, exactly, it's just that I know my thoughts and I am familiar with myself, and I don't *think* like this. it feels like I just open a space in my head and and the words come in, or flow out, I guess is a better way to say it.

and then there's the physical interaction. millie climbs on my chest to let me know she has something to say. she sits on the desk, in front of the computer, while I am receiving the message. she moves to the window when she thinks I've 'got it' - the whole concept, the big picture. she comes back to the desk if I need a little clarification or help. I don't always get it right the first time. then she goes away, usually to her heated bed, when she's finished.

yes, I am sure this is coming from the cat. call me crazy, I don't care, millie is teaching me to speak my truth by helping her speak hers.

permission

2010-02-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

"walk in forgiveness. walk in love. annoyance is based in expectation. release your expectations of others. if you expect nothing in particular, then you will never be surprised, you will never be disappointed.

allow others to be themselves. if their behavior does not suit you, meet them with honesty.

but let there be love behind your honesty. love for yourself and others. love yourself enough to set boundaries you are comfortable with. love others enough to allow them permission to be themselves. if their behavior requires them to remain outside of your boundaries, so be it. this can be a negotiation in love. it does not need to be anything darker.

release the expectations. allow the love. give permission. treat every encounter with another as the adventure it rightfully is. be an explorer. be brave. be love."

incredible cat. thank you, millie.

what makes your soul dance?

2010-02-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

"there are likely many things that make your soul dance. early mist rising from the water. fresh snow on the branches. a dramatic thunder and lightning storm. the way your dog stretches when she sees you. your cat's purr. small things and large things, they are all around you.

humans tend to focus on the things that bring you down, the things that stress you out or make you sad. there are many more moments of joy, the only thing lacking is your attention and focus.

give less attention to the moments that bring you down. let them pass without contributing your energy.

focus on the moments that make your soul dance!"

thank you, millie.

expectations

2010-02-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

more of millie's answer to the question about relationships and change.

"you are the only one who can meet your needs. if someone else appears to be meeting your needs, it is because your needs intersect.

love without expectation. walk your path in love and be confident that you can meet your own needs.

expecting others to do a certain thing, act a certain way, be or think a certain way is a pathway to pain. expectations are of the dark, not of the light.

know that each interaction with another is an expression of a gift, an offer of love. let that be your river, a river of gifts and love. float and be free.

when you run into an expectation that someone has thrown in your path, give what you are willing, love if you are able, float through or fly over the expectation as if it isn't really there, because it isn't.

there is no power in the expectations of others apart from what you give them."

thank you, millie.

change

2010-01-31T18:38:00.000-07:00

a friend asked me today what millie thought about change. specifically, change that accompanies a shift in vibrational energy between people. this is millie's response.

"it is natural to seek out others who share your vibration. it feels good. it makes it easy to share physical and energetic space and experiences. it makes us feel connected, all of us, animals too.

sometimes two beings go on sharing a similar vibration for a lifetime. more often, though, one or both of them shift so that they are no longer so well-aligned. this is normal too. growth and change are normal.

perhaps you have noticed how it feels to try to change your vibration to match another. it is uncomfortable. it is not sustainable. at some point, it becomes obvious that your vibrations are too far apart to be comfortable together. this can cause emotional pain. particularly when this is someone you love.

it is possible to be with people of different vibrations, as long as you maintain your own. the discomfort and pain come when you try to shift your own vibration to match another, if the difference is too great. your energy is your own. when you try to change the way it feels, it is confusing and unpleasant.

it is most comfortable to allow others permission to vibrate where they do. to be who they are. where they are. on their own path. it is impossible to change someone else's vibration, but vibrating at your own true energy gives others permission to do the same.

not all relationships are meant to be life long. people flow into and out of each other's lives according to their higher plans. some people are in your life for the lesson they bring you. learn it and move on. change does not have any bearing on love. it doesn't erase love, or make it invalid. if you love someone and it is painful to be around them, changing the relationship, moving on, going with the flow does not negate the love. even if the love itself changes, that doesn't erase the love that was.

remember the lessons: live from your heart. live in the moment. go with the flow. be true to yourself. trust."

thank you, millie.

trust

2010-01-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

millie's brain to my fingers.

"go with the flow. trust that everything happens exactly as it should. trust that you had a plan for this life and that you are following it. just trust.

give yourself some credit! know that you are finding or following your soul purpose. know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be on your path. give yourself permission to be. to be you. to be where you are. to be going where you're going.

do what you do. love what you do. do what you love.

let go of the need for control. control is a fantasy. there is no. such. thing. you have free will and so does every other being on the planet. that introduces more variables than you could ever imagine into every moment. trying to control your life is like trying to control the weather. it is laughable to think you can control anything, any situation, any action.

the need for control, the effort to achieve the impossible, causes a lot of strife in the world.

let it go."

she sends me a feeling like that song "don't worry, be happy."

millie, you are a treasure. I am so honored to know you.

fear

2010-01-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

it is somewhat intimidating to have a very eager cat waiting for me every morning with a new message for the blog. probably this is one of the things I am supposed to learn from this... how to trust what I'm getting, that I don't need absolute silence and calm in order to do this, that I'm hearing her correctly under pressure and just write it. I have a lot on my plate today, but millie is not in the mood to wait.

"much of what you do is motivated or shaped by fear. fear of social consequences for doing or saying something that other humans might not agree with. fear of ostracism, of not fitting in. fear of persecution or harm for speaking truth. many humans have died for speaking truth. many humans have killed others for their ideas. this fear is valid and real. it is okay to feel fear.

this is a special time. you can choose not to base your decisions in fear. you can push through the fear and be yourself in spite of it. many of you are learning this, or completing your learning of it, in this lifetime.

choose love. choose the opposite of fear in every moment, every decision, with every choice you make. be aware of your fear, make friends with it. know it. understand when it is pushing you and recognize that feeling. and be kind to yourself when you move because of the push. experiment with the idea that fear is not the end of everything, and the end of everything does not lie behind the fear."

wow, that sounds like a heck of an experiment.

thanks, millie.

speak your truth

2010-01-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

when I entered the building today, millie was waiting for me. she is sitting on my desk purring as I type around her.

"truth is relative. what is true for some is not true for all, and that is okay. your job is to speak your own truth, whether or not it is true in that moment for anyone else. your higher self is full of wisdom and you can access that. when someone says something that seems true to you, how do you feel that? how do you know it seems true? does it vibrate a certain way in your body? does it cause you to pause and think about it? does it make you breathe a different way?

listen to yourself, pay attention to the signs your body gives you that mean you are on the right track. the more you listen, the more you will hear. the more you hear, the more complete your picture of YOUR truth becomes for you.

this is important. it. is. okay. to. speak. your. truth. in fact, it is imperative."

when I reached that last point, millie left my desk and went to sit in the window. she says that is enough for now. she emphasizes the importance of this message.

on a personal note, this is something I've been thinking about, struggling with for a while now. worrying about what others think about what I believe kind of stresses me out. I really like the idea of everyone having their *own* truth, and that that is the way it is supposed to be. I'm going to live with that for awhile and see how it shifts things for me.

thank you, millie cat.

how we learned to listen to millie

2010-01-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

millie came to stay at the office, which suited her and we love having her here. her role has changed slightly over the years. at first, she was a greeter. she would come out and say hi to almost everyone who walked through the door. she would come into the exam room with some patients, talking up a storm and seemingly very insistent about telling us something.

being human, and rather caught up in our human-ness, we weren't very good about listening to her when she had something to say. in fact, it's a little embarrassing to look back on how dismissive we were when she offered her input. but one case changed all of that.

"I began to pay attention to the health of the animals who come here for diagnosis and treatment. I found that I frequently know what is wrong with them before my colleagues do.

one day, a woman came in with a very sick dog. the woman was extremely upset, another doctor had refused to run diagnostic tests that she requested, and was arrogant about and dismissive of her gut feeling about what was wrong with her dog.

our doctor examined the dog and was thinking the worst, cancer. the dog was very, very sick. but I knew it wasn't cancer, and I knew how that diagnosis would crush the woman, so I clawed at the exam room door until they let me in. I walked on the dog, so I could touch him with my paws and make sure that I was right before I said anything. then I turned to the doctor and told her it wasn't as bad as she thought."

this was a few years ago, before I started really trying to 'hear' millie at work. back then, when we knew millie had something to say we asked her questions and got yes or no answers via muscle testing. my talent for 'hearing' her came into play through knowing or guessing which questions to ask. here is how that conversation went:

millie, do you have something to say? (this is how we start every muscle-testing conversation with her, and it is a standing joke in the office now, as she makes it very clear when she has something to tell us.)

"yes."

is it about this dog?

"yes."

does he have cancer?

"no."

really!?!?

"no."

is he very sick?

"yes." (it was obvious that he was, but with muscle testing it's a good idea to throw in questions that you know the answers to along with the questions that you are looking for the answers to, in order to check to make sure you are getting accurate responses.)

is what he has treatable?

"yes."

is he going to die?

"no."

do we need to refer him for further diagnostics?

"yes."

millie was very sure that this dog did not have cancer and that what he had was treatable. we had played this kind of 20-questions game with millie before about patients that she indicated she had information about, but the difference with this case is that we took a leap and actually *told* the client that our cat said her dog could be treated.

wow. does that sound crazy, or what?

we believed, but hadn't actually discussed how or why we believed, that millie really did have a special talent when it came to understanding the inner workings of our patients.

we believed, but hadn't articulated, that we were getting good information when we asked millie questions.

without really thinking it through, or we probably never would have done it, we told this client that millie said her dog was going to be okay. both the doctor and I had our doubts about that. did I mention that this dog was really, really sick? the client was very relieved to hear what millie thought, even though we qualified it with 'we could be wrong's and 'this isn't scientifically sound's. she was in a much better frame of mind when she left the office than when she had arrived.

when we got the first referral report from the specialists, it said the xrays showed a large mass in the dog's lung. we were sure that confirmed our suspicion of cancer. the specialist thought so too, and they scheduled a surgery to biopsy the mass.

when we got the next referral report, it said the dog had a fungal infection, the mass had been removed successfully and he should be fine with long-term antibiotic therapy.

wow.

millie is sitting in front of me as I type this (good thing I've learned to type without looking) and she is purring.

"I like this story. it was a good example of the kind of cooperative relationship I have developed with my colleagues. I enjoy being here, being a part of the work that we do here. I enjoy being treated as an equal, and having my thoughts considered when I make them known.

this is how it can be with animals. we have a lot of wisdom to share, for those who listen.

my human friends are worried about putting this blog out there too widely. they are worried what people will think, how it will affect the business.

I am not worried. I know what I know. this is a good thing. this is truth."

as always, thank you, millie.

how millie came to be with us

2010-01-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

when I walked in the door this morning, millie had more important things than blogging on her mind. but immediately *after* breakfast, she informed me that today's topic is her story. I told her ok, I will go ask the doctor to tell me the story again about how you came to her. millie just looked at me. oh, you want to tell your own story.

"yes."

okay. tell me.

"I was living with a troubled family. they stopped feeding me. I thought I might be walking away to die, it was cold and there were lots of coyotes and foxes. something guided me to walk in a certain direction though. when I got to the house, I was weak and starving and barely had the strength to crawl up on the front deck. I think I slept a little, then a man was walking toward me and he picked me up and put me in the house. it was warm inside. I had a vague impression of other animals in the house, but no one felt dangerous, so I slept. later the people came home and fed me. I slept and slept for days, waking up to eat. when I started to regain my strength, the other cats started asking me questions and pushing me to interact with them. I had no answers to their questions, and I had no practice dealing with other cats, so I told them to stay away. they were persistent, and I wasn't nice about telling them to leave me alone, I even suggested that they leave. this went on for a while.

I was content, the people were nice and I was getting plenty of good food. the other cats were not behaving well, they didn't like my attitude and they expressed their displeasure by peeing all over the house. this made the people unhappy.

one day, the doctor brought me here to the office. at first it was confusing, my sleep schedule was disrupted. I soon decided that I really like it here, I enjoy meeting the people and some of the animals. I still don't care for other cats, but I've learned to ignore them. none of them stay very long.

at some point, it dawned on me that my new home is a healing center. I am a healer, I have always been a healer. what a perfect place for me to be!"

your animals are here for you

2010-01-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

when I walked through the office door this morning, millie came running, clearly ready to blog. as we had a busy morning scheduled, I had to apologize and ask her to wait. she came back later and told me about today's blog.

millie wants you to know:

"your animals are here for you. many of us chose to come as animals during this very interesting time, specifically to support you. being human is difficult, it requires a lot of courage and spiritual energy, especially right now. we are here for you, to love and support you, to guide you. we have a lot of wisdom to share. most of you can 'hear' us, but you aren't fully aware of it. trust the messages you get. let us support and love you, it's why we're here."

I stopped here, and she said there was more to her message.

"really lean on us. we are strong. this is not a one-way caretaking agreement, we signed on to take care of you too. let us."

talking to an animal is different than talking to a human. it uses a different part of your brain. instead of words, you get smells, feelings, ideas of things. you have to trust a) that you aren't crazy and b) that you are interpreting the message correctly. it takes a lot of trust. and practice. I have a feeling it is going to get easier, and that more people will become aware of the communication they have with their animals.

living in the moment, part 3

2010-01-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

of course, when I shut down the computer yesterday, millie let me know that we hadn't *quite* captured her sentiments on living in the moment. I took notes and promised her I would update her blog today. so I am.

"if you stop throwing your energy into the past and the future, you will have more energy for now. you will be living more in the moment with more energy for everything. it will make love, tolerance and acceptance easier."

she finished with a very utopian picture/feeling (the main way I get my messages from her, most of the words are my interpretation of what she sends me) -- I interpreted the last bit as something like

"you can achieve world peace by living in the moment."

that's a nice thought.

more about living in the moment

2010-01-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

evidently, millie hadn't finished her thought about living in the moment when I blogged it. she climbed up on my lap and sat on my chest to let me know.

millie, do you have more to say?

"yes."

is it about the blog?

"yes."

is it about living from your heart?

"no."

about living in the moment?

"yes."

okay, what else would you like to say?

"living in the moment is a matter of bringing your awareness to now and keeping it here. now is really all there is. worrying about the future is silly and a waste of energy. the future isn't real, it is only possible. this is important to understand."

millie also let me know that she is pleased about her blog. she thinks it will be good practice for me, and she likes sharing her wisdom with people.

live in the moment

2010-01-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

today is monday. all last week and over the weekend I managed to obsess about potential future problems. you can probably see where this is going. when I got to work I found that I wasn't the only one borrowing trouble from the future. as we discussed the future in a sort of dismal, pessimistic way, it being a monday and all, millie came out to talk to us. we all know now when millie is just moving around the office and when she has something to say.

millie, do you have something to tell us?

"yes."

is it about our conversation?

"yes."

do you want us to stop being so pessimistic?

"yes."

do you have any practical, specific advice for us on how to do that?

"live in the moment."

ah. of course. life is pretty amazing and magical when you bring your focus back to this moment. right here. right now.

thanks, mil.

live from the heart

2010-01-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

last thursday millie came and sat on my chest while I was working. can't remember what I was doing exactly, but it was something incompatible with having a cat sit on your chest. millie and I have worked together for going on 4 years now. she helps balance the energy in the office, she weighs in with her opinion on some of our more difficult cases, she cheerleads when we do well, and she offers advice.

her main way to let me know that I am in need of her advice is to hop up on my lap and climb up the front of me so that she is laying on my chest, effectively ending my focus on work and claiming it for herself.

I have taken classes in animal communication, and I can do it, but I usually attempt it only when I have taken the time to ground myself and remove myself from the distractions of my life. work is far from my ideal space for animal communication. millie insists that I can do it, however, and she keeps trying to talk to me in spite of my painfully slow understanding.

on thursday, millie tried and tried to get through to me, through my distraction and my funk about life in general. finally, I 'heard' her. her words are in quotes:

"your sarcasm is a shield. you use it to protect yourself, but it also shuts you away. live from your heart. relate to others from your heart."

um, wow. okay. good advice, I am sure, but do you have any practical advice for me on how to achieve this?

"yes."

would you mind sharing it with me? (animals are SO literal!)

"regard the people the way you regard the animals. think of them the same way."

oh.

OH.

it's true, I offer a lot more compassion to the animals. even the ones I don't really enjoy being around get a considerable amount of love and compassion from me. respect. trust. lack of suspicion. tolerance. acceptance.

I immediately tried thinking of some of my least favorite people as though they were animals. it helped a lot. as animals, they are allowed to be exactly who they are, a product of their own individual lives and experiences, with no expectations from me. what a relief to be able to think of people that way. I still don't like them, but that's ok, I don't have to be around them.

that millie, she is one smart cat.

are you writing this down?

2010-01-25T14:01:00.001-07:00

I was walking with my husband today, relating the latest message from millie, when he turned to me and asked,"are you writing all of this down?"

hence this blog.

intro

2010-01-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

millie is a cat.

I am a human.

this blog is millie's, to share her amazing wisdom with others, however it must go through me in order to get here (millie doesn't type) and so we are limited by my ability to"get" her messages, and also by my interpretive skills.

I will do my best to translate accurately and to transmit the love effectively.

so here we go...